Broken Silhouettes
by crystalnami
Summary: Those two years apart changed everything. He was different, she was different, and their worlds were different. They were the broken pieces of a puzzle that had once made perfect sense. What if she ended up even more broken than she already was? — SK
1. Prologue

**BROKEN SILHOUETTES**

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By **C**_rystal _**L**_eigh_

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_They were best friends; maybe even more. But when fate drags them apart, promises are broken, feelings and attitudes change, old dreams are replaced with new ones. When the old wishes are answered, will it be too late for them? _

xxx

Kairi Lockheart and Sora Strife were best friends from the very beginning. And as they grew older, their feelings for each other did too. But a sudden twist of fate ripped the two apart, leaving each of them stranded, broken silhouettes destined to fade into the shadows. For without each other they were nothing. They each held the others' heart and soul, and couldn't imagine a life without each other.

But the nightmares became reality. She clung onto every last fragment of him, determined that they would meet again, determined to relive the past once more. He shook off the memories, keen to forget them, wanting to leave the past behind him and start a new future - without her.

Fate played it's cards once more and she suddenly found that her old dreams were once more becoming a reality - two years later than she wished for them. In her mind, it was too late – she'd built up a new life, and wasn't prepared to go back to her old one so easily. But would the unbreakable bonds of friendship and love they held still be there? Could lost memories be regained and forgotten promises remade?

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**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

**Authors Note:** So here it is, my second Fanfic! I hope you all enjoy it as much as you do 'One in a Million' and I'm looking forward to hearing from my regular reviewers, I hope! Well, enjoy!

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**Prologue**

We were best friends. Always there for each other. Till the very end, so we said. We were inseparable; if he wasn't concerned, I didn't care about it; if he wasn't going to be there, I wasn't either.

He felt the same way. Our parents always joked we would end up married one day. Of course, we would automatically give them a look of pure disgust, sticking our tongues out in a fashion that was very popular amongst small children.

But secretly, I prayed that our parents spoke the truth.

xxx

"_You kids should just get married!" Aerith laughed, her arms wrapped around her husband, Cloud._

"_How adorable would your kids be?" Rinoa squealed, glancing up at Squall, her husband._

_Cloud looked at his spiky-haired son in amusement, letting out a light laugh as he stuck his tongue out in disgust._

"_Yuck!" the youngest Strife child spat, "Mom, that's gross!"_

_Aerith laughed. "Kairi doesn't seem to think so!"_

_I was the young auburn-haired girl standing next to her mommy obediently. Glancing up at my mom's best friend, I quickly wiped off the small love-sick smile that had appeared on my face at the mention of mine and Sora's kids._

"_Yes I do!" I insisted, nodding my head vigorously, my short auburn hair bobbing up and down in rhythm. "Ew…children with Sora? Bleaugh!"_

_The young boy known as Sora looked at his parents triumphantly. "See? I win!"_

_The adults laughed in unison, and Cloud leaned forward to ruffle his son's hair, but he was quickly slapped away by the 6-year old._

"_Dad!" he whined, "You're ruining my hair! Stop being so embarrassing!"_

_Cloud chuckled at his sons amusing behaviour, smiling at him cheesily. "That's what I'm here for!"_

_Sora shot his Dad a glare. "That's _my_ smile," he grumbled, a pout finding its way onto his face._

_I giggled at his cute actions, grabbing his hand. "Come on, lazy bum, let's go play in the sand!"_

_Turning to me, he did his infamous 'Sora-smile', mouth wide open, teeth showing. The parents laughed at his ability to forget things within a second of them happening, and I laughed sweetly at how adorable he looked with his two front teeth missing._

xxx

We lived like this in bliss for years. Our parents had known each other since high school; both our mothers had got pregnant at the same time; he was born one day before me, and he never let me forget it.

We were best friends since we were in diapers, sharing birthday parties, friends and secrets. There wasn't one thing we didn't know about each other.

My Mom got pregnant a year after she had me. Thus, I gained a younger sister, Namine. I loved her dearly; she was like an angel. But that's what everyone else seemed to think too. I was left standing in the dark, eclipsed by my younger sibling.

Sora was the one I went to for comfort; he was the one that stood beside me and treated me as if I actually mattered.

We only ever had one argument. I remember it clearly; it'll stay in my memory forever. We were thirteen, Sora had just gotten his first girlfriend – naturally, I was jealous.

It wasn't a proper relationship, we were only young, but it still affected me greatly. For the first time, I felt as if I was losing my best friend. He was growing up without me, getting new friends, doing new things, and I was still sitting in the sandbox waiting for my old playmate to return.

xxx

"_Kairi, I have someone I want you to meet!" Sora announced at the end of school. Thinking that it was another person to introduce into our group that already included me, Sora, Selphie, Roxas and Tidus, I smiled happily, following him through the school corridors, eager to meet this person._

_I was met with the sight of a young girl, around our age, her green eyes focused nervously on the floor, her curled brunette hair clipped back._

"_Kairi, this is Olette!" Sora introduced, walking round to stand next to her._

"_Hi Olette!" I smiled sweetly, giving her a small wave._

"_Olette, this is my best friend, Kai!"_

_Olette stuck her hand out, and I shook it gratefully. On first impressions, this girl seemed really nice._

"_Hi Kai! Sora's told me loads about you!" I frowned at her statement; nobody called me Kai except for Sora._

_Then the realisation of what she'd said hit me, and I blushed slightly, catching Sora's eye as he smirked. Although I'd never dare admit it to him, since hitting puberty I had grown a small crush on him._

"_R-really? What?"_

_Olette giggled. "Oh, just stuff. You know!"_

_My forehead crinkled. What _sort _of stuff?_

"_Hey, Olette, we're going to be late for the movies, we gotta go!" Sora said hastily, eyes widening as he looked at his watch. He grabbed her hand, and began dragging her down the corridor._

"_Wait, I thought we were going to the beach?" I protested, running to catch up with the two._

"_Yeah, but then Olette said she wanted to see that new chick flick so I said I'd take her!" Sora replied, still walking. I noticed that they were holding hands, and glared with distaste._

"_But…you said you'd take me too! I'm your best friend!"_

"_And I'm his girlfriend!" Olette cut in, smiling sweetly. "Come on, Sora, let's go!"_

_Sora shrugged at me, then turned and walked out of the building, hand in hand with Olette, not looking back once._

xxx

He left me when I needed him the most, just to take _Olette_ to the movies. Abandoned by the one person I thought I could rely on, the one person who said he'd never leave me.

I thought I was going to lose him. He didn't even call me to explain afterwards. It was the weekend after that, and I didn't speak to him once. I felt so alone. I just sat in my room and cried and cried and cried, unable to comprehend the thought that he had moved on and found someone else.

I'd always assumed that we would be best friends forever. And then, when we were older, girlfriend and boyfriend. I was naïve, I admit it, but I believed fairytales could come true. And this was the first time I realised that maybe not everyone got a happy ending.

I went back to school on Monday, and I didn't say one word to him all throughout the day. I tried my best to ignore him entirely. He probably didn't notice; too busy looking at _Olette_. I hung around with Roxas all day, trying to prove to myself that I didn't need Sora.

It didn't work. Although Roxas was a really good friend of mine, and I really liked him, he just wasn't Sora. We didn't have that mutual understanding, that ability to know what the other was thinking just through a look, that relationship you can only gain through knowing a person for as long as we had known each other.

The end of the day came, and I still hadn't said anything to Sora. That was three days now! The longest I'd ever gone without speaking to him. I was really beginning to feel the strain.

But then, when putting my books away in my locker, I found a note, saying:

_Meet me at our speshal place at 7.00, pleese._

I instantly knew who it was from – the appalling spelling gave him away! And even though I was supposed to be angry at him, I couldn't stop a smile spreading over my face. And so I went to meet him.

xxx

_Walking through the tunnel into our secret place nervously, I instantly noticed that Sora was already in there, sitting facing our drawings of each other. I smiled, preparing myself to say something, when I noticed that he was busy doing something._

_Creeping up behind him, I saw him scribbling an addition to our drawing with an old rock. I patiently waited until he had finished, lowering his hand back down to his side._

"_Boo!"_

_I swear he jumped five feet into the air!_

"_K-Kai?" He stuttered. "What are you doing here?"_

_I shot him a quizzical look. "You gave me a note, remember?"_

"_Oh…oh yeah. Hi."_

"_Hi to you too!" I returned, smiling. "So, what's up?"_

_Sora stood up, purposefully standing in front of the drawings, rubbing the back of his head nervously._

"_Well, uh, you see, I just wanted to say sorry about how I've been -,"_

_His apology was interrupted by my petite frame slamming into his with the force of a thousand elephants. _

"_I forgive you!" I whispered into his chest. I slowly felt his arms wrap around me._

"_I missed you," he admitted._

"_I missed you too!" Letting go of him, I stepped back, placing my hands on my hips and looking at Sora directly in the eye. "But don't you ever go off like that again, promise?"_

_Sora smiled crookedly, placing his hands on my shoulders to reassure me. "Promise! And I never break my promises, remember?"_

_Leaning forward, I placed a quick, soft kiss on his cheek, my hands intertwined behind my back, enjoying the show of watching his face turn red._

"_I know, lazy bum. Just remember: I'm always with you."_

xxx

He was, of course, referring to the Oathkeeper when talking of the promises, a thelassa shell charm he'd given me years ago, when I was seven, as a birthday present. He'd proclaimed that as long as I kept it, he would never break a promise to me. And his first promise to me was that if we would always be together. Foolishly, I believed him.

Only later did I notice his addition. A picture of him handing me a Paupu fruit. I was touched. It was the first sign of his love for me, even if he did have a girlfriend.

Our teen's years came and went in a blur of confusing emotions, anger, trauma, love, happiness. After the Olette business, we had never been closer. The two broke up after two months, due to Olette cheating on him Even though it was a silly kiddie relationship, Sora was heartbroken, and I was the one who was there to console him, I was the one he confided in.

Similarly, it was him, not one of my girlfriends such as Selphie or Yuffie, who helped me through the confusing ordeal that was my first period. He held my hand when I got cramps, he was brave enough to buy me the necessities when I ran out and my mom wasn't available, for I was too embarrassed. He was my rock.

And then he supported me through my first break-up. I first started going out with Axel when I was fourteen, and I thought I was in love with him. I wasn't, of course, but that's what infatuation does to you. I couldn't imagine life without him.

I don't know how Sora put up with me though. I was never stupid enough to ignore him and leave him out – I didn't need a repeat of the Olette ordeal. But all I ever talked about was Axel this, Axel that. I thought he was the world. And Sora never interrupted, never got bored, not once. He sat there and listened to me, just like a true friend.

And he gave me advice. He was a boy; he knew how their minds worked. He spent hours telling me what every gesture and word Axel said meant, talking as if it was the most important thing in the world – which to me, it was.

And then, when I turned fifteen, after I'd been with Axel for 8 months, he was my shoulder to cry on when we broke up messily. Axel was 16 by then, and had gotten bored of me, finding a new girlfriend, Larxene, who wasn't too scared to take things further with him.

Sora knew how I felt, having experienced something similar with Olette, and so he talked to me and listened to me and helped me get through it. I don't know what would've done without him.

And when Axel was a jerk to me, he gladly took care of him for me, making sure Axel would never hurt me again. And once again, our relationship grew deeper and stronger, our bonds now practically unbreakable by anything except death.

But death came. Unexpected, it showed up at our doorsteps just when we had got out lives back on track again, and things were running smoothly. And just like that, it broke our bonds.

I thought only the death of one of us could change our friendship. How wrong I was.

It was the December after my break-up with Axel, Christmas was nearing in a few days, and our families had great plans for going on a holiday to Christmas Town. Our things were packed, suitcases ready next to the door, ready for when our parents returned from their meal.

xxx

"_Sora, I'm bored!" I whined, looking around my living room. Bright decorations were hung up everywhere, a vast Christmas tree at one end of the room, messily decorated by the whole family._

_Sora and I were sat on the sofa, having just finished a massive popcorn fight. Namine was quietly sat in an armchair by the Christmas tree, idly flicking through one of her art magazines, occasionally turning to her sketch book and doodling something. _

_Sora's younger sister, Yuna, who had recently turned two, sat by the fireplace, immersed by a building block. I smiled at her, remembering the innocence of being her age._

"_You could clean the popcorn?" Sora suggested. I rolled my eyes at him, telling him exactly what I thought of his idea._

_Smirking, I noticed a piece of popcorn stuck in his hair and reached over to pull it out._

"_What are you doing?" he asked, his eyes following my hand._

"_What you said," I replied, "Cleaning the popcorn!" Sora fake laughed as I freed the popcorn from his messy hair, and then he choked as I popped it into his unsuspecting mouth._

"_Gah!" he spluttered, "Kai! I was so not ready for that!"_

_I laughed. "Exactly!" Reaching over, Sora grabbed me by my sides, tickling me wildly, a determined yet humorous expression on his face._

_My eyes widened. "Sora! S-stop i-it! N-n-now!" My laughter rang around the house uncontrollably, and Sora smirked, knowing he'd hit my weak spot._

"_Never!"_

_Namine looked over at us, sighing, muttering something about 'flirting'. Namine had always been quiet and mature for her age, unlike me. She also had this crazy idea that Sora and I were actually in love with each other. Whatever._

_Managing to free myself from his strong grasp, I stumbled out of the living room and into the kitchen, hearing his footsteps directly behind me. Seeing that I was trapped, I took the only escape route I knew – into the garden._

_It was dark outside, and the ground was covered in a thick layer of snow. It was peaceful, the night sky free from any clouds, the stars twinkling merrily overhead. It was still, the wind absent, with soft flakes of snow tumbling from the sky._

_Shivering, I wrapped my festive red sweater closer to myself, pulling down my denim skirt so it covered more of my tights-concealed legs. _

_Turning around, I saw Sora standing directly behind me, hands out ready to tickle, a mischievous smile on his face. I let out a short scream, followed by an eruption of giggles as he tackled me to the soft snow, straddling my waist, hands tickling my ribs endlessly._

"_N-no…p-please!" I gasped, unable to breathe from laughing so hard, "I s-surrender! You win!"_

_Sora paused his attack only momentarily, holding my arms above my head. "What do you say?" he asked evilly, a glint in his beautiful cerulean eyes._

_I sighed heavily, my mouth forming into a pout. "Sora is the bestest person in the whole wide world," I muttered for the hundredth time in that past year._

_Smirking, Sora rolled off me, sitting up in the snow. He grabbed a handful, chucking it at my face. "Hey!" I yelled in protest. Sora stuck his tongue out in reply._

_Leaning back, Sora lay on the ground by me, his body vertical to mine, facing the opposite way, his head next to mine._

_Turning to look at him, I noticed that he had closed his eyes, a smile playing on his lips._

_I allowed my indigo eyes to roam his tan face, crossing over the familiar features, his sharp jaw line, his perfect lips, his alluring eyes outlined by a frame of long, dark eyelashes, his surprisingly soft spikes of chocolate brown hair flopping onto his face and sticking up at impossible angles._

_Suddenly, one of Sora's eyes opened, revealing the crystal blue colour that could get me to do anything. I blushed instantly, my face heating up even though it was cold, the steam protruding from my mouth proving that point._

_Recently, my relationship with Sora seemed to have changed into something…more. After I'd broken up with Axel, it was as if we both saw that we didn't seem to work with anybody else. We were the only ones that had stayed such close friends, that had maintained that special bond._

_I now felt my heart skip a beat whenever I saw his smiling my face. My thoughts turned to mush and my knees to jelly when I spoke to him. My brain spiralled out of control when he asked me to do something with him, and neither of us grimaced in disgust when our parents commented on what an adorable couple we'd make; we merely smiled knowingly, each of us lost in our own world._

_I'm not sure what brought on this change, whether it be puberty or relationship crisis's, but the feelings had been there for a while now, and instead of fading, they merely grew stronger with each passing day._

"_Kai?" Sora's velvet voice interrupted me from my broodings. I turned my head to the side to face him, and saw that he'd done the same._

"_Mmm?"_

_Our faces were now inches away from each other, I could feel his hot, sweet-smelling breath on my face. Even though my heart was beating erratically in my chest, I still felt that strange sense of being comfortable that I had whenever he was around._

"_Do…do you think it will always be like this?" Sora asked quickly, as if eager to get all the words out. "As in, do you think we'll always be together?"_

_I frowned slightly at this random, yet significant question. "Of course! Well, I hope so, anyway. Why do you ask?"_

_From where he was, Sora attempted a shrug. "I don't know…I've just been thinking. I mean, we've been so lucky to have stayed together this long. Something bad is bound to happen…" His voice trailed off, his cobalt eyes still boring into my violet orbs._

"_Sora! Don't say that!" I accused, reaching over to flick his nose with my finger. _

_My desired affect was achieved as he scrunched his nose up in that was I found simply too cute for words, a small smile finding its way onto his face._

"_I know. I'm being silly, aren't I?" Sora sighed. "Reading into things too much, as usual! I'm such a dork."_

"_Yes, but you're _my _dork!" I teased._

_Sora chuckled, then his expression turned serious once more. "Kai…? There's been something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now…"_

_My mouth turned suddenly dry, my heart beat loud in my ears, blood pumping to my face quickly._

"_Yes?" I asked, my voice sounding parched._

"_I…I…I think I l-"_

_His confession was interrupted by the loud screams for me of my sister, erupting from the kitchen._

_I inwardly cursed her for ruining this potentially crucial moment. I saw Sora sigh out deeply, also annoyed._

"_What?" I yelled back irately._

"_Kairi! Sora! Come in!" She repeated, her tone taking on more sadness._

"_Kind of in the middle of something…" I muttered angrily, but nevertheless I lifted myself from the ground, dusting the snow off me. "Come on, lazy bum," I said, offering my arm to hoist Sora up. He took it, not looking me in the eye, from embarrassment, I supposed._

_Walking round to the side door leading to the kitchen, I saw Aerith standing at the entrance, holding a sobbing Namine to her, a saddened expression on her face._

_Cloud stood in the background, cradling Yuna, his facial expression matching his wife's._

_My mouth suddenly felt very dry, and this time, it wasn't because of Sora._

"_What…what happened?" I whispered, my mind already knowing the answer, but not wanting to accept it._

"_Kairi…I'm so sorry. Everything will be okay, I promise…"_

_As Aerith went on to explain, I was vaguely aware of Sora wrapping his arms tightly around me, pulling me closer to him. Aerith's words echoed in my ears, repeating themselves over and over, etching themselves into my soul._

_Blinding pain shot through my arm as I punched through the glass window uncontrollably, pushing Sora away from me; but I found I was too numb to care._

xxx

My parents died when I was only fifteen, barely months from being sixteen.

When I first heard it had been in a car crash, my first thoughts were 'how cliché', I'll admit. So many people died in a car crash everyday. But it was one of those things you never expected to happen to you.

My world fell into fragments around me that day. I don't know how I would've…_if_ I would've gone on without Sora to support me.

But then, all too quickly, I lost him too.

Namine and I couldn't carry on living alone, of course. We were far too young, me being fifteen, her being barely fourteen.

Our Aunt Tifa offered to take one of us in, but she couldn't handle us both. She chose Namine.

No-one quite knew what to do with me. Sora suggested that I move in with them. This suggestion was kindly turned down, due to the fact that Sora's house simply didn't have enough room in it for another teen, and his family didn't have enough money to support another child, especially seeing as they had Yuna to care for.

And so there was only one thing left for it. I was sent to Radiant Academy, a boarding school situated in Radiant Gardens, a fourteen-hour gummi-flight from Destiny Islands.

I was forced to leave all my friends, my family, my life, _Sora,_ and start a completely knew one all on my own.

The departure was the worst.

It had finally sunk in that I was never going to see Sora again – at least not for a long time. I had long since grown out of the belief that life was like a fairy tale. I wasn't naïve enough to think our relationship would stay the same over thousands of miles.

And so I gave him something he'd remember forever.

xxx

_Placing my packed bags down beside the car that would take me to the station, I turned around slowly, ready to bid farewell to my life-long friends._

_Roxas, Selphie, Tidus, Wakka, Yuffie, and even Olette and Axel had come to say goodbye. I craned my head, searching for that familiar head of spikes, but found nothing._

_Smiling sadly, I bid each of my friend's goodbye personally, giving them a long hug. The departing time drew nearer, and still there was no sign of Sora. _

_My luggage was placed in the boot. The seconds ticked by._

_"Come on, Kairi, we've got to go," Cid, the driver, informed me, tapping his foot impatiently._

_"One more minute?" I pleaded. Cid sighed, defeated, nodding as he took his seat in the car._

_"One minute," he warned, holding up a finger. I nodded desperately._

_"Come on Sora, where are you," I whispered impatiently under my breath. The rest of my friends had gathered under the shade of a tree, chatting amongst themselves, occasionally glancing at me._

_And then I saw him: in his canoe, rowing furiously, water splashing onto his face. I held my breath, watching him, silently thanking God._

_He reached the dock and jumped out of his boat, not bothering to tie it up before rushing to me, gasping for air._

_"K-Kai!" he spluttered, "I'm so sorry I'm late!"_

_I smiled at him, letting him know he was forgiven. I stepped forward, embracing him tightly, breathing in his familiar smell for the last time._

_"I got you something," he whispered into my ear. Pulling away slightly, my eyes widened as I saw what he held in his hand._

_A Paupu fruit._

_I let out a soft gasp, my face portraying my feelings. "Sora…" I breathed. He placed a hand to my lips, shushing me, his eyes smiling kindly. He then proceeded to break the yellow star shaped fruit in half, giving one piece to me._

_"Now I can keep my promise. We'll always be together."_

_We both bit into the juicy fruit, silently regarding each other as we finished it in a few mouthfuls, never once breaking eye contact._

_Cid colourfully informed me that if we didn't leave now, we might as well not leave at all. That sounded wonderful to me._

_Knowing that we had a few precious seconds left together, I put my mouth close to his ear._

_"I got you something, too."_

_With that, I quickly brought my lips to his, closing the few millimetres of air, letting our lips finally meet._

_Butterflies flew madly in my stomach, my knees felt too weak to hold me up, my brain felt dead. I clung on to him desperately, putting every ounce of emotion I could into the kiss. And he did the same back._

_It wasn't particularly long, it wasn't particularly strong, but it was passionate, heartfelt, and it was ours. It was the perfect first kiss. The perfect way to say goodbye._

xxx

And then, I left. Leaving him behind. Not to see him again for another two years.

His departing words will stay with me forever. _"Remember what you said to me? I'm always with you too. I'll come back to you, I promise."_

His second promise.

Stupidly, naively, I responded with, _"I know you will."_

But he never once did.

Whereas once I had been the happiest girl alive, with everything I could have ever wished for, I now had nothing.

I was an empty shell, my heart and soul lost to me.

A **broken silhouette**, slowly fading into the shadows.

And then, just as suddenly as my life had been shattered, my world twisted once more.

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**End of Prologue!**

**Yay! I really hope you like it! I do!**

**I actually take a lot of pride in this. I think it's rather cute.**

**What do YOU think?**

**It's all in the reviews, people!**

**Tell me whether you think I should continue or not please! And just tell me what you think, in general!**

**Thanks, love you squillions and trillions and zillions!**


	2. A New Life

**BROKEN SILHOUETTES**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts yadda yadda yadda.

**Authors Note: **Hey hey! So, finally, here is the first chapter! After a long time of deciding, I finally managed to come up with a full storyline, yay! It came to me all at once haha, and it's very different to what I originally intended, as now some of the characters are OOC lol. So yeah, me hope you like!

**Thanks: **xoX-IHeartSureal-Xox, RockCityRoadStar, DarkHeartless12, butaneng, Hannahbanana06, DPhpFOPobsessed, :D

**Just to let you know, the chapters in the first part are shorter than normal ones, 'cause they're not really like normal chapters, as you'll see. They'll get back to a good length like my OIAM chapters in the second part!**

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-:-:-:- **Part 1: DIARY** -:-:-:-

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**A New Life**

**13/05/06**

The first word that came to my mind when I saw the building was old.

Most people described it as a traditional building, that held lots of culture. They thought the overgrown plants growing at the entrance were 'wildly beautiful' and the cracks in the brick walls added 'depth'; whatever that meant.

I just thought it was old. And out of date. And crumbly.

I wasn't looking forward to seeing the inside – and when I did, it didn't impress.

I thought Radiant Academy was meant to be good – the best boarding school around. Well, apart from Coliseum Academy – but then again, nothing can compete with that!

Anyway…it kinda sucks here. Though in all honesty, I'm not too surprised that it's not that nice here. I mean, it's not like they're gonna bother to spend loads on where I stay. Namine got off lucky. Aunt Tifa chose her. She doesn't have to go to a whole new world to live with whole new people and…do whole new things, or whatever.

She gets to stay back at the Islands with all her friends. She gets to stay at her same school so her studies aren't completely disrupted – there's a thing I found majorly unfair. I'm in the middle of some important exams and I've just been shipped off to a school with a completely different curriculum.

Of course, both our exams have been delayed, due to 'trauma'. I guess I'm happy about that. Hopefully I'll manage to scrape up some good marks.

The people here suck big time. I haven't made any new friends. I doubt I will. Everyone here is all prissy and know-it-all and pompous and clique-y and ugh. Whatever.

I'll just stick to being the rebel girl on my own. Social outcast. Wooh. Not.

I wish Sora was here with me. It's going to be so strange without him…except he promised he would email me everyday, and call when he could, however expensive it was. And I believe him. I mean, Sora never breaks his promises!

You'll never guess what I did before I left though. I…_kissed_...Sora! Yeah! For real! As in, Sora Strife, the guy who I've known FOREVER, my best friend.

We _kissed_!

And let me tell you, it was bloody amazing. He was so gentle, so soft, so sweet…maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all. I'm craving him!

I actually don't know how I'm going to last without him. In all my life, the longest I've gone without seeing or speaking to him is that time when we fell out over Olette. Other than that, our families always go on holiday together, we live next to each other, we visit each other every day if one of us is ill, we're in the same classes for school…

I've not seen him for about 5 days. The longest ever! I haven't even spoken to him over the phone or anything though, even though he said he'd call. But I think it's 'cause he wants me to settle down and all first. So I won't call him for a few days!

xxx

**16/06/06**

I've been at RA for 1 month now. And I still hate it!

I've sort of ish befriended a guy called Hayner. He's cool. He's also an outcast here – he's like the rebel. That's how we met – in detention. Figures!

I suppose you could say I've also befriended a guy called Pence – but only 'cause through some bizarre twist of fate he's Hayner's best friend. Believe me, they are total opposites. Hayner's a bad-boy rebel who doesn't care about his studies or anyone else, and he's actually pretty cool to talk to.

Pence, however…he's like the biggest dork you could ever find. And such a know-it-all! Seriously, all he ever does is spout out this information about who-cares-what. And try having a conversation with him – you will seriously die of boredom! All he does is go on and on about photography. I mean, who really gives? He's so obsessed with it, and takes a picture every single opportunity he gets. And by everyopportunity, I mean _every_ opportunity.

But the worst thing about Pence is that he completely idolises Hayner, and tries to copy him in everything he does. As in, the whole bad boy routine. Which REALLY does not work out for him. I actually feel sorry for him. Poor guy.

But oh well. Things could be worse, I guess.

My roommate really sucks. She's such a freak. I can't even remember her name. I think it begins with a Q or something random like that. She's got this long blonde hair which _could_be nice, but she has such a plain style, and always wears it in a tight bun. And the clothes she always wears make her look like she's off for a job interview at a library or something.

And her eyes are actually quite nice, but she covers them up with these chunky, nerdy glasses. Not cool ones, like a pair I used to have, just dorky ones.

She's always really nervous too. I think she has a crush on Hayner or something, 'cause she's always asking about him. And she always sucks up to me – I think she wants to become my friend, to give her access to Hayner. Pfft. No way.

Sora still hasn't replied to any of my emails or calls. I'm starting to get a bit worried about him…he never waits more than a few days to reply to me. I wonder what's up.

Oh well. He's probably just busy. I'll give it a few more days.

But it's been a whole month. That's enough time for me to have 'settled down', right? So why hasn't he called? Or replied? Or given _any_ sort of sign to show he's still alive?

Maybe all his internet is down or something. I dunno. It's probably something silly and I'm just overreacting and getting all paranoid. That is _so_ me!

xxx

**21/08/06**

I've now been here 0 years, 3 months, 8 days, 5 hours, 16 minutes and 36 seconds. But hey, who's counting?

I finally had to take my exams. Apparently 'trauma' doesn't give me an excuse to completely ditch them. Dang.

Well, no surprises on how I did…not too well. My highest mark was a C…bummer. All the teachers are dead pissed 'cause on my records it says that at my old school I used to get all A's. But seriously, it's like not even my fault.

All the teachers here are such piss-ups! I swear, I haven't learnt _anything_ since I got here. And there's the whole fact that I've been through a 'traumatic experience'. I can't help it that I can't concentrate. I mean, gimme a break!

Oh well, to be honest I don't even care. What good will exams do me? I don't care about science or maths or geography or any of those lame-o subjects. I want to be a singer or actress when I'm older, they might as well let me leave now. I am _so_ ready to!

I'm still friends with Hayner…and Pence, I guess. I've made a new friend – surprise! A girl, this time. Her name is Rikku. She's dead cool. She used to be friends with all the snobby bitches, but she decided she needed a change and so came to me.

At first I thought she was going to be all annoying and prissy, like everyone else. Turns out she's actually really similar to me. Whilst she was in the snobby group, she snuck out sometimes and found loads of secret ways to get out of the school that no-one else knew about. So that's really cool.

I'm still great friends with Hayner, of course. It's just sometimes I need a good girlfriend to be with. I can't spend _all_ my time with guys.

But I've only just recently become friends with her – as in like, yesterday. Haha. But we hit it off instantly.

But because I only hung out with guys before, everyone's saying I'm a huge slut. There are also loads of rumours going around about me and what I did back at the Islands. You know the sort.

_"I hear she went with SIX guys at once!"_

_"I hear she's into bondage!"_

_"Did you know that her last boyfriend was seven years older than her and he carried a gun around with him?"_

_"Apparently she went out with some rich old dude and slept with him loads to get his money!"_

How amateur. I mean seriously, bondage? Guns? Ha. Couldn't they be any more original?

I don't really mind the rumours, or listen to them. I don't care what they think. I just feel sorry for the losers who get their kicks out of spreading crap like that.

I called Sora's house last night. His Mom answered. She didn't recognize me at first, but when she realized who I was, she sounded really surprised. I asked to speak with Sora, and there was a pause before she said that he was asleep.

Sora? Asleep? At half seven in the evening?

Yeah, right.

But why would she lie to me?

Honestly though…I _really, really_ miss Sora. So much. A lot more than I thought I would. I mean, he was my best friend! I feel so alone without him. If he were here, we'd just laugh about everything and it would all be fine. But he's not.

Sure, I have Hayner and Pence and Rikku. But it's not the same. I can have a laugh with them, but I can't really _talk_ to them. I can't trust them with all my thoughts, my feelings. They're just not Sora. No-one can replace him.

xxx

**13/11/06**

Wahay! It's my six month anniversary here! Ain't that something to be happy about?

I made another new friend the other day, through Hayner. His name is Riku. He's finished school now – he's 19. And he's abso-bloody-lutely gorgeous! Seriously, you should see him.

He has these amazing aqua eyes; they're so big and deep! And his hair is so unique – it's silver, and long, and lovely jubbly! And his body is hot hot hot! Not that I fancy him or anything, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship yet. 'Cause, yeah…

But OMG, guess what the rumours are saying now? It's gone completely out of control, it's insane.

Apparently, Rikku is my secret lesbian lover. Interesting. Bet the guys would love that!

I don't have a clue where they got that from. Riku's managed to sort everyone who causes me any grief out though. 'Cause he's older, and has this sort of air about him.

He's one of those people that has complete control over everyone around him, and can make them do whatever he wants. Nobody would dare go against him. Everyone's intimidated by him. Everyone looks up to him. Everyone wants to _be_ him.

And now he usually hangs around with my group of friends. Which is really cool. He's such a bad boy, you know. Like he's done all this really cool dangerous stuff. And everyone is so jealous of me, 'cause apparently he likes me. Suck on that, bitches!

Anyway, the rumours. At least the other rumours (which are still going around, FYI), are feasible in _some_ way, even though they're not at all true. I've only ever kissed one guy before, and since then I haven't found anyone else I want to.

Speaking of him, I _still_ haven't spoken to him. It's been 6 months. I don't understand why he's ignoring me. He _promised_ he would call! He's never broken a promise before.

But I guess there's a first for everything.

But Sora wouldn't do that to me. I mean, he's my best friend. Maybe, if my parents hadn't died, we'd be even more. If only, if only…

I think about my parents a lot. I don't get too upset over it anymore though. I just wonder what life would be like if they were still alive.

I wonder how Namine's doing. In a way, it's good that she stayed back home. I don't know how she would have survived here. She was always pretty weak – I was the strong one, I was the survivor. Look where that's got me.

I miss Namine. Even though we were never really too close, she's still family. I wish we'd been better friends. But we were so different, we had completely different interests!

She's interested in drawing; I love singing and performing arts. I'm sociable, and I hate being stuck indoors – I love hanging at the beach with friends. She's quieter, and prefers to spend some time on her own, shut up in her room with her sketchbook. I'm loud and crazy; she's shy and sensible and mature.

But still. That's practically all I know about her. It would have been nice to get to know my own sister more. But I guess I always slightly resented her for stealing all the attention when she was younger – yeah, I hold grudges for a looong time.

I do remember that me and Sora reckoned she had a crush on Roxas though. It was so adorable. She would blush every time he was in the room, and go even quieter, and stutter whenever he talked to her. It was adorable! And one time, I found a sketch of him in her sketchbook – aw!

I also miss all my other friends – Selphie, Roxas, Yuffie, that lot. It's weird not having someone around me wherever I am. I used to never be alone. Now I am most of the time. Well, I guess I have friends now, but it's different.

I miss Sora.

xxx

**2/12/06**

Oh. My. God. Guess what?

So, you know Riku? He wants to be a musician, right. He's in a band, actually. It's called 'Paramore'. It used to be called 'Darkness Engulfed' but he always thought that name was crap for a band. So I came up with Paramore. Pretty cool, huh?

Anyway, I told Riku that I want to be a singer when I'm older. He asked me if I'm any good and I told him the truth – hell yeah!

He then went on to explain how Paramore are looking for a new lead singer, 'cause their current one, Fuu, is completely tone deaf.

Riku said that once he's heard me sing, he's going to decide whether I can be in his band for not!! How amazingly cool is that? I reckon I'll be able to get into the band. I'm pretty awesome, if I say so myself.

Riku plays the electric guitar. He's really really good. He said he's gonna teach me sometime. I can't wait! It's gonna rock!

I'm really beginning to like Riku. He's so carefree and laidback. He seems so relaxed all the time – I want that! He just does what he wants, when he wants, and nobody can stop him.

He's also so funny, and actually really smart, although he never shows it. I think if he put his mind to it, he could do anything.

And you know what he said to me? He said I'm the most original, real girl he's ever met. He said I'm the only one that doesn't fall over my feet for him, and that I actually have my own mind. I don't just follow what everyone else does.

Yay!!

I can't…I can't help thinking about Sora though…he keeps popping into my mind. I'm just fed up of it now. My heart constantly tells me to try to contact him again, but my brain's just like, what's the point? I mean, if he can't be bothered to keep our relationship alive, why should I?

I know the saying is 'listen to your heart', but what if I don't want to?

I wonder what he'd think of me if he saw me now. I'm so different. I've grown up more in the last 8 months than I have in my entire life. I think the freedom and independence did it.

That, and the absence of certain people from my life.

My parents, for example. That's where my not-caring-for-education attitude came from. I always used to try hard for them. They were my motivation. And now, without them, I just don't see the point. If I've got no-one to be proud of me when I achieve something, what's the point?

And my rebellious streak. My new friends. That all came from missing Sora. I never used to be alone. I always had someone to care for, someone who cared for me, someone to rely on. And then, when he was taken away from me, I felt so lost.

So now, I don't want to build that sort of relationship again – not like I can, he was different – but I'm not going to get too close, too attached to anyone, that losing them would cause me this much pain. I couldn't do it again.

And me and Sora used to find enjoyment in everything, as long as we were together. But without him, it feels as if everything is dull, there's no spark, no colour anymore. So I have to look for all these new, dangerous, exhilarating activities that will keep me occupied, provide some sort of entertainment for me.

Losing all my friends, my family, has made me a lot harsher. I've lost a lot of faith in people. I don't feel compassion like I did before. I just don't _care_ anymore.

That's what's so great about Riku. He feels the same. I don't know what his story is, but my bet is its pretty similar to mine. So that makes us the perfect match for now.

xxx

**31/12/06**

Six minutes till 2007! I can't wait! It's going to be the best year of my life. A whole new start! Yeah!

We're having a (belated) Christmas/New Year party up in Riku's dorm, seeing as he has the biggest room.

I haven't told you much about Riku yet, have I? Well, I'm starting to kind of ish like him. He has such a mysterious look around him…so alluring! He's so hot – and I know he thinks I'm hot too. I overheard him tell Hayner. He's actually the first guy I've ever looked at in that way since…yeah.

Riku's technically meant to go to university, but he got shit grades, so he's not going to bother. His Dad owns RA (which makes him a rich kid, haha), so he can stay in the biggest room for free. He has his own kitchen and a flat-screen and everything. I'm so jealous!

Anyway, we're going to stay up all night and party hard! The celebrations are already in full swing! Double-K (as there are 2 Riku's now, we gave Rikku that nickname to avoid confusion) is already pissed off her head. Last time I saw her she was leading some random dude off to the closet. Who knows what they're up to now.

I'm currently sitting in the loo to write in here quickly. To be honest, I'm not really in the party mood right now. This is my first 'Christmas' and New Year without _him_. It feels weird, even though I haven't spoken to him in ages now.

I sent an email to Aunt Tifa last night, asking about Namine, my friends, and him. After a few days I received a short, polite reply saying that she was fine, Namine was fine, my friends were fine, everything was fine. She didn't mention him though.

I'm beginning to think he's just forgotten about me.

Oh, hold on, I've got to go. Riku's discovered me and is dragging me off – the countdown is starting!

xxx

**1/01/07**

Its one minute passed midnight. Officially 2007, a new year. I snuck off again – once again I'm sitting on the loo, writing in here.

Happy new year, Sora. I wonder what you're doing now.

In a way it makes me feel sad that it's a new year. It's as if it signifies that it's a new year, a new start, a new life – without Sora. But that's not the life I want to live.

Sure, I have Riku. But he's not the same. We don't share that special bond. Our attraction is merely lust, based on appearance. It was totally different with Sora.

All the New Year's I've ever spent with him are suddenly rushing through my mind. Tiny, insignificant details I never thought much of suddenly feel like the most important thing in the world.

I always knew I would look back on my tears and laugh; but I never thought I would look back at my laughter and cry.

I was reborn when he first kissed me. Part of me died when he left me. But, now I still live, waiting for the day he returns to me.

If that day ever comes.

* * *

**Well…there we have it! The first chapter!**

**I hope you liked it :)**

**Now, I am begging you…**

**Please, please review?**

**I'm not going to ask for a certain number of reviews before I next update, but I would like a fair amount, to know whether it's worth continuing or not.**

**Thank you, my angels!**

**xox**


	3. Drunken Revelations

**BROKEN SILHOUETTES**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

**Authors Note: **Yo! Here is the second chapter – it's long again, wahay! Hope ya enjoy it, read and review, and all that jazz!

**Thanks: **imcalledkitty, Kokuou no Shin'en, Just.A.BrokenDream, Shazi-Chan, butaNENG, DPhpFOPobsessed, DarkHeartless12, lebrezie, Sora15

* * *

**Drunken Revelations  
**

**25/01/07**

Riku said I'm almost definitely in his band! Yes!

He just needs to tell Fuu now…haha. Sucker for her.

It's going to be so awesome. I'm finally going somewhere! Paramore are a really popular band too – they get loads of gigs. There are two others apart from me and Riku – Seifer, who plays the bass, and Rai, who plays the drums. They're alright.

Remember how I told you there were those rumours that I was a slut? Well, they had their setbacks. Loads of guys constantly try it with me, thinking I'm an easy slag who'll go with anyone. Yeah, right! Usually I can handle it though – I'm pretty tough.

There was this one guy the other day though. I was doing a few laps in the pool quite late, so it was empty. When I got out, this huge bodybuilder type guy came up to me and started hitting on me. At first I was just like, whatever, same old same old, but then he started pinning me to the wall and trying to kiss me.

And other stuff too.

I couldn't push him off though; he was way too big and strong. Luckily he didn't manage to do anything though, 'cause Riku came along. He pulled the guy off me and beat the crap out of him. He hasn't looked at me since.

I'm telling you, Riku was awesome.

It sort of reminded me of when…ugh, never mind.

Anyway, I kissed Riku then. My second ever since... It was great. Very different to my first though. This was involved a lot more pressure, more tongue, more strength. It was good.

Since then, Riku and I have kind of unofficially being going out. Like, he's not actually my boyfriend – yet – but we kiss and stuff, so I reckon he will be soon enough.

I wonder what _he_ would think of that.

xxx

**09/02/07**

I'M IN THE BAND! FOR SURE!

Riku broke it to Fuu today. It was hilarious to watch, I must admit.

I turned up for our first band practise, dressed all nice and stuff, in my skinny gray jeans with a small black vest and black heels. Simple, but sexy.

Fuu was there, setting up her microphone. As soon as I entered the garage (Riku persuaded his dad to let us use it – it's huge!) Riku and I smirked at each other.

Riku stood up to go talk to Fuu, but I got to her before he did.

"Hey Fi. You're in my spot," I said.

"The name's _Fuu._"

So let me tell you a bit about Fuu. She's another rebel girl, and she is totally obsessed with Riku. Even more than everyone else, that is. She even dyes her hair silver to match his! Loser.

She barely ever speaks. How she expects to be a singer then, I have _no_ idea. She usually only talks in one-word sentences, except I know that at heart she's a big talker. She just puts it on as an act, to try to be 'different'. Riiight.

She thinks she's hot, but she's really not. That's kind of why I made sure I looked good on that day – to show off. Her hair is lanky and wannabe, her figure is nonexistent. She may as well be a guy! Her face…well, she isn't that _ugly_ or anything, she's just a bit…plain. Nothing special.

Anyway, so there I was, going up to Fuu, calling her Fi for a laugh – I knew it would piss her off.

"Fuu, Fi, same thing," I dismissed, watching her simmer in anger. "As I said, you're in my spot."

"_Your_ spot? Are you delusional? You're not even meant to be in here! This is band practise – _band members only._"

This was the most I'd ever heard her speak in a lifetime!

"Yeah, _band members only._ So get out."

"What are you talking about? I am in the band!"

"No, you're not. What are you on about? Now move."

I had successfully succeeded in confusing her. She stood there, jaw hanging open, looking back and forth between me and Riku in confusion.

She then sidled up to Riku, placing her arm around him. "Riky, what is this crazy girl talking about? Get her out of here, she's cramping my style,"

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention one small thing. You know how she's obsessed with Riku? She also has a HUGE crush on him. He doesn't like her though, obv. Well, they used to be a couple, actually. They broke up when Riku met me – coincidence? I think not! XD

But Riku told me he never actually liked her in that way. He was just bored. But they're so over now, and she's still desperately clinging on to him. I think she realises that without him, she's nothing.

Riku then completely blanked her, shaking her off and coming over to me.

"Let's hear what you've got then, babe."

We then began playing a song – never getting to the singing part, of course, seeing as I didn't know any of the words yet. It was just to piss Fuu off. And it worked. She stomped over to me and grabbed the mic out of my hand, screaming at me, trying to fight me. I held her off easily.

The boys just watched in amusement.

After a while, Riku decided to step in. These were his exact words:

"Fuu. You're out of the band. For good. You have no voice, no figure, no stage presence, no _nothing_. Your body looks like a boy's. You have no boobs – they're like two aspirins on an ironing board. You have no bum – your legs end and your back starts, and there's nothing in between. And you don't even have a good face to make up for it. And as for me and you – 'cause I know you're gonna bring it up – we have _nothing_ either. Yeah, we did, but that was over months ago. You're the delusional one. I'm hot, you're not. I'm ashamed to be around you. _You're_ cramping _my_ style. And quit the whole individual act, everyone knows you're just a wannabe copycat. So get a new hobby, a new boy and new haircut, 'cause we're not interested. Ta-ra."

I'm telling you, it was INSANELY awesome. Classic! I'll never forget the look on her face as she ran out.

Oh yeah, and just to rub the salt on the wound, we did this:

Riku called after her, "Fuu!" She turned around, this small, hopeful expression on her face, like she thought he was going to tell her it was a joke. How pathetic.

Making sure she was looking right at us, Riku then leant down and kissed me right in front of her, tongues and everything, pulling me right up close to him. I didn't see her face, but I can imagine it!

It was awesome.

Ha, before I came here, I would've been disgusted at anyone who did something like that, who acted so jerky. But that was then, and this is now. Like I said, I just don't care anymore.

It was freaking hilarious!

xxx

**17/02/07**

Happy birthday to me! That's right, as of today I am officially 16! Finally!

Yeah, so I'm still not a legal adult or anything. But still. It's nice to reach the 16 mark. It makes me sound older. 15 sounds so _young._

Riku snuck out last night and bought some alcohol, seeing as he can pass off for 21. The gang are going to meet up tonight when all the teachers are in bed at our spot – an unused shed at the edge of the school grounds where people know not to bother us.

The gang includes me, Riku, Double-K, Hayner, Pence and Paine. We call ourselves the Nobodies. Haha. Like it? I came up with it. It seemed fitting, seeing as we don't care about anyone else, and nobody else cares about us.

Paine is just another girl we're friends with. She's kind of quiet and emo, but whatever. She doesn't care about getting into trouble, and with us, that's all that really matter, to be honest.

We're going to do present giving there – can't wait to see what I get! We're then going to sneak out and hit the town. Riku knows of an empty warehouse we can go to, so we're going to have a party there.

We've invited a few other people from school, but most aren't worth it. Riku's bringing a bunch of his older friends, and the rest of the gang are rounding up who they can. Double-K asked me if I wanted to invite any of my old friends. My immediate answer was no.

Not only would it bring back to many painful memories, but I also seriously doubted they would approve of my new lifestyle. And anyway, they wouldn't want to come. I hadn't spoken to _anyone_ since arriving.

All in all, there are around 200 of us going to the warehouse. Riku's friends are providing the alcohol, seeing as Riku can only get so much. We'll probably drink most of it by the time we get there anyway.

It's going to be a blast.

Onto another topic, my grades are fantabaloutely shite now. Seriously. The highest mark I got this term was a low D, and that was in PE. Score! But like I said before, I honestly don't even care.

Riku agrees with me. What's the point in education of you're not going to use it in your future? It's nice to have someone who agrees with me on thing like that, seeing as we both want to be musicians in some form.

Double-K told me that Hayner told her that Paine told him that Rai told her that Seifer told him that Riku said he really liked me and thought I was an awesome girl. He also apparently said that I was the sexiest girl in the whole school. Too right!

I think something might happen to us tonight. I mean, I'm turning 16, we're having a party, we're sneaking out, we're having alcohol…it'll be the perfect time! I can't wait.

I have changed loads since I came here though. I used to be so…innocent. Ugh. Like the clothes I used to wear – what was I thinking?! Modest jeans paired with trainers and some simple t-shirt. That's the definition of boring right there!

Now it's all about black – black skinny jeans, black mini skirts, black vests that show off my navel and breasts, high heels, leather…sexy stuff. Stuff that actually annentuates my figure rather than hides it. 'Cause, not that I'm being conceited or anything, but I have a pretty damn good figure.

Riku bought me this necklace for Christmas. It's got a silver chain and a real sapphire hanging on it. He insists that I wear it all the time, because it 'brings out my eyes'.

Not that I'm complaining though. It's so nice, everyone is really jealous. It must have cost him a fortune though! I guess he is super duper rich though. It's better than some dumb home-made thelassa shell charm at any rate.

I can't believe I just wrote that…

_I'm sorry._

I have to…I have to go now. I need to find something to wear tonight to impress Riku with…hmm…

xxx

**18/02/07**

Ugh…my head is literally pounding. I feel like shite. I swear I am NEVER drinking again!

Well…you know.

This is actually the worst hangover I've ever had. Riku called earlier this morning to see how I was doing. I think he guessed that I wasn't too good. He's fine though, but he's used to it. And he knows the best way to treat hangovers.

He's coming over to my room in a bit to help ease my throbbing headache. I'm just sitting in bed waiting for him now. Quistis, my roommate, is going to have a shock when she sees him! How funny.

I don't remember _anything_ about last night. God, I really hope I didn't do anything too embarrassing. Especially in front of Riku. I think I would just die if I did!

I wore the perfect outfit last night though. I borrowed a pair of black hot pants off Double-K, and teamed them up with a pair of black fishnets and killer black leather boots with REALLY high heels. My legs looked awesome.

I then wore a black corset-style strapless top that had a really low neckline and rose a few millimetres above my shorts, giving a glimpse of my midriff. I made sure to wear my black and red lacy lingerie. And then of course, the necklace from Riku.

I left my long hair completely down for once. Usually, I tie it back (in a messy style, of course) 'cause it annoys me, or at least have it half-up. I wanted to go for a change though.

My hair has grown loads since I came here. It comes down to my waist now. I've barely had the length cut at all since starting at RA. I have, however, had a sweeping side fringe put in. I clipped it back into a quiff last night though, to show off my 'enigmatic eyes', as Riku called them.

And of course, I caked the eye make up on. Thick, black mascara, masses of black eyeliner, black eye shadow with some sparkly eye shadow to add a mysterious look. And then red lipstick.

All in all, I looked pretty darn hot.

And everyone knew it.

I remember some stuff from the beginning. The gang met up in the usual spot, as planned, and I opened all my presents. I got some hot earrings and loads of new makeup from Double-K, a new CD I wanted from Hayner, a photo album he'd composed himself from Pence (which was actually pretty cool!), a new top from Paine, and Riku…well, I'm not too sure. He said I'd get it later. I liked the sound of that. I honestly can't remember anything about it though.

Anyways…after that we messed around a bit there, drinking a bit, having a good laugh, you know how it is. Then – get this – guess who came into our shed? Quistis! Oh my God, I actually could have died laughing!

Quistis – now that I've got to know what she's actually like, rather than assuming from her looks – is this complete dork, right, and another know-it-all. Haha – just the impression I got from her looks. Anyway, not a know-it-all in the same way as Pence though – who's actually not so bad now. She just like shows off about what she knows as if she thinks it will impress us – which it doesn't. And she _tries_ so hard to learn it all. Pence is just naturally smart. He can't actually help it.

So, anyway, Quistis. She's a sort of outcast. No-one wants her. She's not actually a snob so they don't want her, and she's not naturally smart enough to be with the big-heads. And then, right, she is _such_ a wannabe! It's so funny.

She's _desperate_ to be one of us Nobodies. She shows up at our table dressed in black, and starts talking to us about how she is _such_ a rebel 'cause she didn't give in her French homework. Shocker! We just exchange amused glances.

I admit, sometimes we string her along. We invite her to our mini parties and stuff. But then when she shows up, we just make fun of her or ignore her entirely, until she slinks back to her dorm. Either that, or we just give her the wrong venue.

Yeah, sounds harsh, but it's funny.

Anyway, I'm getting off topic. So, Quistis shows up. Turned out she'd followed us out and wanted to come to our party. She even asked for a beer. Quistis and beer just didn't fit _at all_.

We told her, alright, she could come. We were tipsy, so we didn't really care at that moment. The more, the merrier. She then asked if she could be in the Nobodies. Once again, we said yeah – as long as she completed the tasks necessary to get in that each one of us had gone through. Okay, so maybe that wasn't entirely true, but whatever.

Of course, Quistis agreed. Duh. _Everyone_ wanted to be one of the Nobodies. Secretly, even the snobs. They just wouldn't admit it. But we were cool, we were free, and we had fun. Not to mention we were hot.

So, Quistis agreed. At first we told her she had to roll a dice and whatever number she got, she'd have to sleep with that amount of guys – all at once. You should have seen her face! Aw bless, she was so scared. She agreed though!!

Of course we were joking though! As if we'd make her do that! She looked so relieved and happy when we told her, it was laughable. We had to think of something she wouldn't do though, 'cause we didn't actually want her in our group. So we told her we'd tell her at the proper party.

And then we went. Sneaking around loudly, giggling at every tiny thing, Quistis trailing behind us pathetically. It was a sight.

And then we got to the party. It was loud, crowded and hot. And there was alcohol. LOTS of alcohol. And lots of people. Music was blasting from speakers, people dancing to the beat all around the huge warehouse, crowded so close together you couldn't see from one person to the next.

I loved it. Riku and I immediately went to dance, after having a few more drinks of course. And then after dancing, we had some more drinks. Then we kissed a bit, danced some more, drank a few more beers, kissed some more.

And I can't remember after that.

I'm hoping Riku will be able to tell me. As long as it's nothing too bad.

God my head kills! When's Riku coming??

Oh, right on time.

Well, gotta go now. Quistis is still asleep, it seems she also got drunk last night…weird. I wonder what she did. Anyway, yeah, I gotta go before the knocking wakes someone. I'll talk to you later.

**Back!**

Riku was really sweet when he came. He brought me some hot tea and a nice breakfast. He sat with me and hugged me and kissed my hurting head.

I asked him what happened last night, but he said he couldn't remember either, but he's dying to know. I think he remembers a bit more than me, but he's not telling me, 'cause he kind of froze up a bit, for some reason.

Oh God, I really hope it wasn't something too bad. I hope I didn't puke on him or anything. That would be bogus! Okay, as soon as I finish in here, I'm calling Double-K. I wish we were roommates. That would be awesome!

Speaking of roommates, Quistis woke up before, just before Riku left. She puked all over her bed straight away. Ew, it was disgusting. I think that's why Riku left…he didn't want to be stuck cleaning her up or anything. Charming.

I, however, managed to drag myself out of bed and take her to the toilet, wash her up, take off her bed sheets, give her my remaining tea and breakfast, and tuck her into my bed (where she's now sleeping) whilst I have to make do with the lumpy armchair. I'm like a Saint or something. I should receive some sort of award for that!

Seriously, the arm chair, it's like made out of bricks or something. How cheap-skate.

Right, I'm off to call Double-K, if she's up. Which she should be, seeing as it's about 2pm. Thank God it's the weekend!

xxx

**19/02/07**

So you know how Pence is obsessed with photography and stuff? As in, he's obsessed with remembering every seconds of every occasion, whether it merely be math class? Well, turned out he's video-taped everything that happened last night.

I mean, I knew he was recording the present opening, but I thought it was only that bit. Turns out I was wrong. He didn't drink any more after getting to the warehouse, so he was sober enough to know what he was going.

So, the Nobodies (as in, not including Quistis, obv) gathered in Riku's comfy living room to watch it on the 36 inch, with me snuggling up with Riku cosily on his feather armchair.

And then we watched it.

So first, it was just the present opening. That was fun to watch, we got a few laughs out of the part where Quistis burst in XD. And then there was the journey to the warehouse, which was a laugh, watching ourselves stumble around, tripping over our own feet.

And then we got there, and it was a blur of people dancing, the music roaring. Pence first stayed around me and Riku, taping us dancing together, my hands around his neck, his on my bum, swaying to the music.

As we were watching this part, everyone in our group hollered and wolf-whistled, whilst me and Riku sat there grinning sheepishly. I wasn't embarrassed though. I barely ever was anymore, and I hadn't blushed in ages.

Next, Pence had filmed Double-K dancing dirtily with one of Riku's older friends. She looked like she had had a good time! A few more minutes of the film were focused on Paine, Seifer, Rai, and some of our other mates.

The next part – it was absolutely hilarious. Well, for everyone except for Hayner, of course. For him it was totally bogus!

So, it began with Pence going off to find Quistis. Which wasn't too hard. For the occasion she had adorned herself in a bright pink dress – I think she thought it was 'rave', but it was more like 'retarded Barbie'.

Anyway, so he found Quistis, sitting alone in a corner, holding a full cup of beer in her hand, looking around nervously, occasionally glancing at the beer, as if deciding whether she should try some or not.

He then leaned over to whisper something to her, at which she blushed immensely, nodding her head nervously. What he said though was unheard, the loud music covering up his words.

Quistis then stood up, her eyes roaming the room. Pence pointed to somewhere in the crowd, and Quistis nodded, going to that point, Pence following. The point led her to Hayner, who was chatting with some random girl, already pissed as far as we could tell.

So, Quistis looks back at the camera nervously, and Pence sticks his hand out, showing a thumbs up. Quistis nods fretfully, before looking down at the beer still in her hands, and draining it in one. She then gives a more confident smile, before walking over to Hayner, giving him a tap on the shoulder.

Remember when I mentioned that Quistis liked Hayner? Well, it seems Pence picked up on that too. He paused at that point in the video and explained to us that he told Quistis to pull Hayner if she wanted to get into the Nobodies. And it had to be a proper make out session, for at least 5 minutes.

And guess what happened?

So Quistis tapped Hayner on the shoulder. Like I said, he was drunk, I don't think he realized what was going on. He turned away from the girl he was talking to and flopped onto the wall, facing Quistis.

"Heeey, Quissy!" he slurred, giving her a big wave. "How arree youuu?"

Quistis giggled, but didn't reply. She already seemed drunk from that one beer she'd had. I guessed she's never drunk before, so couldn't handle it.

She immediately leant it and began ferociously kissing Hayner. We could all see she wasn't very good at it – she was basically just licking his face and mouth and tongue. It made most of us cringe, I'm telling ya. I felt physically sick. As for Hayner…well, he actually turned green.

So back to the video. Hayner, being drunk, didn't pull away from her. He kissed her back, ravishing her, arms around her. We all went hysterical there – it was pretty hilarious, watching our best mate snog this complete geek. Hayner was SO embarrassed.

Pence stood there for a few minutes, timing how long they were kissing for to see if she would pass. She actually got pretty close – we all thought she would do it! Thankfully, she didn't.

As Pence called out that she had half a minute left, Quistis and Hayner were still all over each other. But then, seconds later, they were apart…Quistis had managed to barf all over Hayner!

I actually thought Hayner, who was sitting on the couch with Paine and Pence, was going to be sick or something. He looked utterly disgusted. But I'm guessing, at the same time glad that she hadn't managed to do it.

We then paused the video and spent a few minutes teasing him and jeering at him. The poor guy was proper embarrassed! He's never going to live it down!

Hahahaha. I think that was the best part of the video…the next…not so much.

It was about midnight at the party now, I'd say. So, leaving Hayner to wildly wipe at the vomit on him, whilst Quistis pathetically sobbed next to him, Pence went back over to where me and Riku were leant against a wall, participating in a passionate make out session. This was at the back of the warehouse, where there were less people and less noise.

Pence zoomed in close on us, for some reason , and the gang watched as on TV, Riku broke the kiss and leaned over to whisper in my ear, smirking: "Time for your present now, birthday girl."

I watched this part intently, not remembering any of it. I felt Riku tense slightly next to me. I wondered what was going to happen.

Pence followed as Riku led me through a door and up a short flight of stairs, until we reached an empty room, the only furniture in it being a tattered double bed and a small wooden table and stool.

Everyone watching had silenced now, watching with anticipation to see what would happen next. We watched as Riku led me over to the bed, where we sat and carried on kissing. Neither of us seemed to have noticed that Pence stood at the door.

Whilst we were still kissing on stage, I turned to Pence, annoyed. "You had to record _everything_, didn't you? Do we not have any rights to our own privacy?"

Pence merely shrugged, grinning sheepishly. "Hey, you were the birthday girl! It was your sweet sixteen. I figured you'd want to remember everything!"

I merely glared at him, and carried on watching. I have to admit, I looked pretty hot that night!

As Riku and I were kissing, I watched as he shrugged off his jacket, now clad in a black t-shirt. His hands began roaming, and I cringed slightly at how into it I was.

We soon fell backwards onto the bed, him on top of me, still kissing. As we viewed, my heart began thumping unsteadily in my chest.

I was suddenly scared that we had done…_it._ Most people assumed I wasn't a virgin, even though I was only just 16. It was probably because of who I hung out with. And I never actually talked to anyone about my life at the Islands.

Even though I did stupid stuff, drunk, kissed, and all that, it didn't mean I was ready to lose my virginity. At heart I was still the innocent girl I was a year ago…I wanted my first time to be special, with the person I loved. Like my first kiss was…

On screen, Riku began pulling off my top. My breath caught in my chest as I suddenly realised that the chance we had done _it_ was high. And maybe that explain why Riku was so tense…

But then suddenly, I felt a surge of pride wash over me as on-screen me slapped Riku's hand away. There was a slight pause before the kissing ensued, and then Riku tried again. Once more, I slapped his hand away.

At this Riku sat up, breaking the kiss. I propped myself up on my elbows.

"Okay, what the hell is this?" he demanded. I looked at him, a confused expression on my face.

"What is what?"

"Well, do you wanna do it or not?"

On screen me's eyes widened, head shaking slightly. "No…I thought we were just kissing."

"What do you think I brought you up here for? What did you think your present was?"

I shrugged. "I thought you just wanted more privacy and space for us. It was getting kind of crowded and hot down there."

It was hard to understand what each of us were saying, seeing as we were both drunk, but we put the volume loud and managed to make out our slurred words.

"No…I figured you knew what we were going to do," Riku explained.

"I'm not…I don't…I'm sorry, I only want to kiss for now…"

Riku deliberated for a moment, before we went back to kissing again. I felt my heart rate return to normal as I realised that I was clever enough to not do anything too stupid, even when I was drunk.

Pence paused the film.

Everyone turned to look at Riku, who had relaxed again now.

Double-K spoke first. "You're still a virgin?" she asked, shocked. I nodded, unashamed. Everyone was shocked. It felt kind of good for them to know the truth.

I then turned to Riku, who was still sat with his arm around me.

"Why were you so nervous?" I asked.

Riku smiled slightly. "Well, I could remember up to here, but I couldn't remember what happened after we stopped kissing. I was scared that I was so drunk I may have forced you into it or something…"

I smiled at him then, leaning up to kiss him on the lips. "Aw, how sweet of you! I trust you. I know you'd never to anything against my will."

We carried on watching then, sure that the rest of the tape would be pretty simple – more kissing and dancing and whatnot. How wrong we were.

After a few more minutes of us making out, our kisses softened, with more breaks in between. And that's when I said it. So quietly, it was hardly heard, but there wasn't any music up here to cover up my words.

"Sora."

The Riku on screen and the Riku who was next to me froze. My breath caught in my throat as I heard the name come from my lips, the name I hadn't spoken in ten months.

"What?" Riku asked, immediately backing off slightly.

"Where's Sora?"

"Who's Sora?"

I started crying on screen, tears falling from my eyes. From where I was sitting, I began to feel self-conscious and uncomfortable. I noticed that Riku's eyes were focused intently on the screen, his lips pressed into a thin line.

With a pounding heart, I continued watching.

"I want Sora!"

"Who the fuck is Sora?!"

"Him…my best friend…I miss him…I need him…"

"Kairi, seriously, what are you on about?"

"Sora…"

"I think you're just too drunk. Come on, forget about it…" Riku started kissing me again then, but I immediately pushed him off.

"Fuck off! You're not him! You're not Sora! And you never will be! You can't replace him…! No-one can…Sora…Sora…I loved him…I _love_ him…"

"Are you doing some other guy, Kairi?!"

"Sora…he's gone…he promised…he never called…he _promised_…my best friend…my love…"

I can still feel the same emotions go through me now as I write this as I could when I sat there watching the video. I had no idea I still felt this way about Sora. I never even let myself think about him anymore. I tried to lock all memories of him up. I thought I had done a good job of it – obviously not.

Back in Riku's living room, the tears had started to fall from my face. It was all coming back to me. Sora…

It was then that I went up to the TV and turned it off. Enough had been seen. Facing away from the group, I breathed in deeply, trying to compose myself before turning back to face them.

Hayner, Pence, Paine and Double-K were all looking at me in shock, their expressions mirroring each others. Riku was sat with his jaw open, staring in no particular direction.

There was silence for a few moments, before Pence spoke up.

"Why don't I remember _that_?" The questions started then, everyone harassing me, wondering who this mysterious 'Sora' was. Riku didn't say a word, and neither did I. He did manage to have a quick word with me though.

After this I was able to get away from them all, sneaking back into my room. Quistis was in there already, and I gave her a sad smile as I remembered what had happened. She quickly scurried out though, out of embarrassment I supposed.

I locked the door, needing the time alone with my thoughts. Which is where I am now – sitting on my bed, writing.

I don't understand. Why was I talking about _him_? I didn't think I missed him anymore. I thought I was passed that. Obviously not.

I can't believe I said that I _loved_ him. Where the hell did that come from? Sure, I always loved him – _but only as a friend._ Never in _that_ way. I didn't think I even knew what love was!

But then I said I loved him…

Seriously, what is up with that?

Maybe it's because I was drunk. I probably wasn't thinking straight. Yeah, that must have been it. Damn alcohol.

So, you know when Riku had a quick word with me? Well, what he said basically contradicted what I just said. I said it _wasn'_t true because of the alcohol – he said the alcohol meant it _was_ true.

Here, this is how our conversation went:

"Kairi…who's Sora?"

"He's…just this guy. No-one important."

Riku snorted. "Well he_ obviously_ is important if you said you love him. Is he someone from your old home…'cause you said you miss him."

"Well…yeah, sort of. Yeah. He used to be my best friend back at the Islands. But not anymore."

"How so?"

"He…he didn't keep his promise."

"Do you love him?"

This was the weird part. I turned to look Riku straight in the eyes, determined to give a negative response to his question. But for some reason, I found that the simple word 'no' wouldn't escape my mouth. It was lingering at the tip of my tongue, seconds from falling off, but clinging desperately. And however hard I pushed it, it wouldn't fall.

I found that it was replaced with another word – one that I didn't have to say aloud for Riku to know what it was; one that had the exact opposite meaning from 'no'.

I had no idea. But I guess that revealed how I really felt about Sora. How I _feel_ about him.

But I shouldn't…I _can't_ like him. He's _gone._ He's moved on – I mean, he never contacted me. He's probably completely forgotten about me. _Everyone's_ forgotten about me. That kiss probably meant nothing to him, whereas it meant so much to me.

I thought the kiss was like the seal of his promises – that we would always be together, that he would come back to me. I still have the Oathkeeper charm he gave me. I still treasure it. I still look at it every night before sleeping. He still lingers in my memory.

But every day he's getting fainter, the old memories being replaced with new ones, old wishes slowly being modified until they mean something completely different.

I don't want to lose him entirely – but it's happening. And there's no point in trying to stop it, 'cause it's not like I'm ever going to see him.

I thought I was doing good. I reckoned that I was well into the 'moving on' stages. But then I had to go and say those things at one stupid drunken night and completely refresh all those memories and feelings I'd worked so hard to lock away. And now I'm back at the beginning again. Crap.

So…what to do?

Woops…I got kind of off topic there. Where was I? Right. The conversation with Riku.

So, after I kind-of-ish-accidentally-maybe-on-purpose-but-not-really told (by told I don't mean literally said…more like showed) Riku that I…erm, _love_ Sora, I went into a small rant about how it didn't matter 'cause I was drunk, and all that jazz.

"But I didn't mean anything I said! Honest! I was _drunk_, I didn't know what I was saying, I was hysterical, yeah?!"

"Yeah, you were drunk…yeah, you were hysterical…but that just proves to me how much you _do_ love him. When people are drunk, they either say really stupid things which obviously aren't true, or they accidentally let loose all their feelings…"

"Yeah, and that was a really-stupid-obviously-untrue thing that I said! Me? Love him? Pfft!"

Another weird thing – I found I couldn't say Sora's name. Writing it is okay…well, okay-ER. But saying it…I just…couldn't. It felt like it would…_hurt._

"Let me finish Kairi! As I was saying, what you said seemed to be very true. I mean, you weren't acting all stupid. You were speaking in complete seriousness. And you were slightly hysterical, showing how overwhelming your feelings for him are…it seemed like it was one of those things you'd kept locked up inside for way too long, and finally, the feelings were able to escape, but only when you were drunk. That's the only time you ever let down your guard, put down all those defences you've built up in order to protect yourself, protect others, from facing the truth."

Inside, I was thinking 'how the HELL did he know that?!'…I attempted to cover up those feelings on the outside.

"That's not true…" I mumbled pathetically, but I was unable to meet his eyes when I said this.

And inside, I knew that every single word was in fact very, very true.

* * *

**Wahay, finito!**

**Like?**

**Me hope so!**

**XD**

**So Sora hasn't made an appearance yet...interesting...he will do soon enough! :) 'cause he is the cooolllest!**

**Review review review please and I'll love you forever and ever and ever!**

**Hugs and kisses!**

**xoxo**


	4. Of Amends and Boyfriends

**BROKEN SILHOUETTES**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kingdom Hearts, however much I wish I did; or the band Paramore and any of their songs.

**Authors Note: **For once, I haven't really got anything to say…except for please review!! And thanks a bunch to everyone who has done so already, you guys rock like science mocks! XD Lawl…oh yeah, I got some inspiration from "The Precious Present" by Spencer Johnson.

**Thanks:** Darkrystalangel, eCZi, imcalledkitty, Kokuou no Shin'en, Hannahbanana06, khfan, lebrezie, DarkHeartless12, AmbrosiusSchuyler, Kanie, Just.A.BrokenDream, DPhpFOPobsessed, Shazi-Chan, Emerald31, Dark JaylenX, Jynxer120, Sora15, Unknown11

* * *

**Of Amends and Boyfriends**

**17/03/07**

It's been exactly 1 month since I turned 16; 1 month since my party; 1 month since I said _those_ things…

Ok, so I was _so_ right about how it'd be so much harder for me to forget Sora again now. I mean, I said that I _loved_ him – that's not something I can forget about so easily.

But it's getting easier. With each passing day, it gets easier. And it's not so bad now, the pain. I've had so much of it in my lifetime that I've become sort of numb – I just don't feel things as much.

And for once, I'm happy about that. I don't know how I'd deal with the hurt otherwise. It would be like I'd had an accident – broken a bone or something – without any painkillers to numb the pain. But the way it is, it's as if I'm on a heavy medication that shuts it all away, makes it seem unreal.

I still think about him every now and again. I can't stop myself from doing that. And I wonder; everyday I wonder about where he is, what he's doing, what his new life is like.

I'm still so confused. I still don't understand what went wrong, why he broke his promise. I was _so _sure he would keep it, so sure that we would somehow stay in touch, somehow try to keep the pieces of our friendship together.

And I tried. I really did. I mean, I called him and emailed him and called his parents and called Aunt Tifa and called anyone who had some connection with him – it just didn't work.

Sora, however, didn't seem to have tried at all. What is up with _that_? I thought he was my best friend…obviously, I was wrong.

Things have mostly got back to normal again around here. Everyone seems to have forgotten about the…incident. We all go about our daily lives, having fun, causing trouble, mocking Quistis…the usual.

Except for Riku, that is. Things are _so _awkward between us still. He can't seem to forget about the fact that I said Sora's name when we were making out.

I can't understand why though. I mean, it's not as if I'm the first girl he's been with. It's not like he's a sensitive type guy or anything. He's Riku. So why should it bother him?

I don't exactly know how I feel about that – not being with Riku anymore, I mean. I don't feel particularly saddened. I would have thought I would though. He was my boyfriend. And I don't even feel guilty…weird.

I do miss having him though. It's nice to have someone to stand next to, someone to be associated with like that. But I'm not too bothered – I'm fine without him, too.

Rikku and I are still great friends. We always hang out, she's so fun. We have so much in common – she's like a sister to me!

Obviously, she's not my real sister. Namine is. But Rikku acts more like a sister to me. I mean, what sort of sister is one who doesn't even bother to keep in touch with me?

I still can't believe Aunt Tifa! Choosing Namine over me! It's just plain rude, in all honesty. I know she said she could only have one of us, but she so could have taken us both in if she tried!

She always had it out for me, Tifa did. She thought I was too loud and disruptive, 'cause I was always hyper and crazy and stuff. And she thought I was a slut too – 'cause of Sora! Hahaha.

She couldn't believe that we were just friends. She always said that there was no way a girl and a guy could be _just_ friends – there always had to be some "sexual tension". Well, news flash: Sora and I _were_ just friends!

Even though she never said it aloud, Tifa reckoned me and Sora were doing each other behind our parents back – ew! Last time we saw each other, we were only _fifteen_! What exactly does she take me for??

I mean sure, I thought Sora was hot and all, and yeah, we probably would have ended up going out if I hadn't left, but actually doing 'it'? – no way!

So yeah, Tifa looked down on the fact that my best friend was a guy. Talk about judgemental. She thought I should be more like Namine – a 'proper' girl.

In her eyes, Namine was the perfect little angel, what with her innocent face, her blonde locks, her clear blue eyes – but hello, I have blue eyes too! I guess it's 'cause mine are kind of a mixture of blue and violet.

It seemed that Tifa believed in all the old traditions, for example "children should be seen but not heard". She loved the way Namine never disturbed anyone, just sat in a corner sketching in silence. Me, however – well, I was "loud", "rude", and "disobedient" – her words, not mine.

Okay, so I wouldn't mind so much that Tifa didn't like me – I wasn't her greatest fan either. I thought she was a pompous, snobby, big-boobed fake bitch. But at least I didn't act like I thought that! I was always polite and stuff – to her face, anyway.

Tifa, however, broadcasted her favouritism for Namine to the whole world. She always got her bigger and better presents, always gave her a little something when she came round to visit, always called her "sweetie" and "darling". Me? I was just "girl", or on the odd occasion "Kairi" – but she even spoke my own name with distaste, as if by saying it she would catch some infectious disease. Lovely.

I never really minded though. I didn't need her. I hated her. Both me and Sora did. Did I mention that Tifa had a _huge_ crush on Cloud, Sora's dad? Well, she did. Whenever we had our monthly family BBQ's, she would always turn up in a skimpy little number – which really didn't work.

I'm not saying that Tifa's fat or anything – she isn't. It's just that, she's actually more of a tomboy, and she's pretty muscly, and so small summer dresses don't really suit her. They look great on Aerith though!

So yeah, she's always sucking up to him and stuff, and me and Sora are just there like "Er, hello? He's _married_ with kids!" Of course, Cloud is completely oblivious to her – he has eyes only for Aerith. Aerith notices of course – and she secretly _hates_ Tifa for it.

…whoops. There I go again. Talking about the past as if it's the present, when in reality, it _isn't_. I really need to get to grips with the fact that all that is behind me now…it's no longer a part of my life. I should accept that, and move on.

But why is it that I still don't want to? Why is it that I still find myself clinging onto every last memory, determined not to let it go? Why is it that every tiny thing reminds me of him?

I should…I should go now. Before I get too carried away. I'm fine to not think of my past when I'm around my new friends…but I guess writing in here brings it all back.

**09/04/07**

Can you believe this?! Paramore are having their first concert this Friday!

I absolutely can't wait, it's going to be freakin' awesome!

My first live concert…wow!

We've been practising hard, and the whole band agrees that I'm _way_ better than Fuu was. I wonder if she'll be there on Friday. I sure hope so – I'd love to see the look on her face when she sees me rocking it out on stage with her ex!

Speaking of Riku, I had a good talk with him the other day. About us.

Basically, we're tired of this awkwardness between us. And we want to start over – so that's exactly what we're doing. Starting over.

Just like Sora did.

We didn't mention him once in the entire conversation, and I've _finally_ come up with a conclusion as to what I should do. What I _need_ to do.

I'm going to forget about him.

And no, I'm not just saying that. I'm not going to do it like I did before – try to push him out of my life, force it, and then bring it all zooming back so fast I can barely breathe.

No. That obviously didn't work, and the comeback of his memory was so much more painful than necessary.

This time, I'm going to let him _fade_. I'll just…not think about him, not link everything to him, and if he ever comes to mind, I'll smile at the memory, glad to have experienced it, before moving on to the present.

Its okay for me to _think_ about the past – that way I can learn from it, make sure I don't make the same mistakes twice.

But I've got to be careful not to _live_ in the past. For that is how I will lose myself.

Same goes for thinking about the future. I'm not going to wonder, or wish, or anything of that sort, for his return. It's a waste.

Sure, once again, I'll _think_ of the future, prepare myself for anything it may throw at me – but I won't live in the future, replaying through my mind the scenes of his return.

For that will also make me lose myself.

And I like myself the way I am now, thank you very much.

So, Sora…no more mentioning you in here like that. I'm _through._

Bye bye.

So…swiftly moving on…

Yeah, Paramore! First gig in a few days! I'm really nervous, but really excited too! I _know_ it's gonna be awesome!

I need to choose what to wear! I'll call Double-K over later – hopefully she'll be able to give me some ideas!

I'm gonna head off now. Write later!

**14/04/07**

THAT WAS SO UNBELIEVABLY AWESOME!

Yep, you guessed it – the Paramore concert was a great success! Heck, it was a bloody brilliant success!

The club was _packed_, I tell you. Familiar faces from around the school and surrounding neighborhood squashed together in that small, hot, smoky club, the scents of sweat mingling.

Yeah, it was pretty disgusting. But I still loved it! It felt more like home than the clean dorms I'm used to (although I can't say my side of the room is particularly clean at all).

The stage was pretty small, but we had enough room for all of us to fit on comfortably. It started off with just the band, strumming a few short chords to get the audiences attention.

They got that pretty easily, I tell you. The audience were excited, waiting in anticipation to see who the new lead singer was – for my identity had been kept hidden, ready to be revealed to all tonight. Riku calls me their "secret weapon".

When I was finally called on, the club was in total silence. And then the moment I stepped into the bright spotlight, the crowd went _wild._

Literally. They were screaming and shouting and pushing and shoving and doing everything possible to get as close to the stage as they could. As close to _me._

They already loved me.

We launched straight into our first song, "Pressure". This was one we'd recently been working on, that no-one had ever heard before. I think we can be pretty certain it was a hit!

We then went on to play the old favourites such as "Misery Business". It seems these are just as popular now as they were back when Fuu was in the band. Or maybe it's just 'cause I'm singing them.

All in all, it was an awesome gig.

The end of the gig was, however, most definitely the most awesomest part. Yeah, yeah, I know it's not a word. Do I care?

So, basically, what happened was…well, Paramore and a few close friends (i.e. the Nobodies) were hanging out at the club after everyone had left, and Riku dragged me off to a corner.

And…he said he was sorry. What for, I have no idea, but I realised that those were the words I'd been waiting to hear all along. I realised that I wanted Riku, and all I needed was a small push to bring my confidence back up.

And so, for the first time in months, we kissed. Except it was different this time. It wasn't the usual strong, lust filled one. It was a lot sweeter, gentler, real. And this time, when our lips met, I felt my heart skip a beat.

Is it finally happening?

Am I finally….moving on?

Thank God!

So now Riku and I are _officially_ boyfriend and girlfriend.

And I couldn't be happier about it. It seems that finally, everything's going right again.

**13/05/07**

You know what date it is today, right?

As of today, it's been exactly one year since I came here.

And unlike I felt at the six-month mark, I'm actually okay about that.

I _like_ my life here. It's good. It works for me. Although it didn't feel right at the beginning, I've changed, and now I fit in perfectly.

And I don't miss everyone as much anymore. Sure, they'll all still be a part of my heart; that much can't change. But I've grown accustomed to not having them in my life. I don't need them anymore the way I once did.

I've moved on.

A lot can change in a year. _Everything_ can change.

Everything about me is different. If Namine were to see me now, I doubt she'd even recognize me!

My whole belief system, all my thoughts and attitudes, have completely changed. Whereas once I used to match up with Sora, I now match up with Riku. And he's a _lot_ different to Sora.

See, it doesn't hurt me anymore. Thinking about him, saying his name. Of course, there's a part of me that will always be connected to him – he was my first best friend, my first love. I think it's impossible for me to forget everything we've been through together.

But, now, when I think about him, it's not in the same way. I don't get nervous, panicked, hurt, scared, excited, happy, sad, angry…I just feel neutral.

I used to be scared of seeing him again, for fear of what emotions it would bring back, of how it would affect me. But I still hoped and wished that he would make a reappearance in my life.

Now, I'm impartial to him coming back. I don't really mind. I'm not _scared_ of seeing him – it would just be like meeting up with a distant friend, who's now a stranger. And I don't _wish _I would see him again, because I'm fine the way I am. I don't need him in my life.

As long as I have Riku and Double-K, I'm fine.

To be honest, now, when I think of life back at the Islands, my thoughts go primarily to Namine.

I mean, she is my sister. My family. My own flesh and blood. I would like to see her again, to try and work on our relationship, because she's someone who'll always be a part of me, no matter what.

But, once again, I'm not all that bothered if I never see her again.

The only people I wish I could see again is my parents. They're the only ones who I constantly miss, who's absence isn't made any less painful by time.

It's a shame that they're the only ones I'm never going to see again.

But, like with everyone else, I've learnt how to live without them. And even though I still miss them so much everyday, I know that there's no point dwelling over something that is already gone.

They're in a better place now; and somehow, I think, by them leaving, I'm in a better place too now. I think my departure from the Islands did me some good.

If I had stayed, I'd probably still be too reliant on Sora. I've grown so much more confident and independent, which I think was necessary.

My whole life used to rotate around Sora, and I didn't know where I'd be without him. I think if I'd stayed at the Islands any longer, we would have most definitely gotten together. And that would have only increased our bonds, thus making him an even bigger part of my life.

The way it is now, I was separated from him before we got _too_ close in that way. Even though it was oh so painful, I think it could've been even more so if it happened later in life.

And who knows, maybe the fact that we never officially became boyfriend and girlfriend saved our friendship? Maybe we wouldn't have actually worked as a couple, and so lost the whole relationship we'd built up since birth.

Who knows, who knows…?

I know I'm talking about the past again, but it's not the same. Because I'm _happy_ now. I've learnt to live in the present, and only for the present.

As I was saying sometime in the past few weeks, or whatever, now, when I think of the past, it's only to try to learn from it. To see where things went wrong and to make sure I don't let that happen again. I'm no longer lusting over what I can't have.

It's funny how my whole perspective on things can change in a few months. A few weeks even. And in some ways, a day. Because this one year mark has given me a sort of strength, telling me that I _can_ do it, that this is my life now, that my heart no longer lies with Sora, but with Riku.

Riku and I…we've grown so close over the past month or so. What we feel for each other isn't just lust over each others' looks anymore. It's grown into something…_real_.

I'm not going to say I love him or anything, because I'm not making that mistake again. We're going to just see how things go…but I do know that I like him very, very, very much.

He's so much more of an amazing person than I could have imagined. Yeah, he's the same old all-powerful, cocky guy in front of my friends, but when it's just me and him, it's different.

Before, when we were sort of unofficially going out, before all that party business, whenever we spent time alone together, it was usually spent with kissing, and the occasional chatting about what so and so were up to.

Now…we've built up this trust, this was in which we can't talk to anyone else except each other – not even Double-K.

We tell each other everything. There are no secrets at all between us, and we know we'll always be there for each other, because that's just the way it is. We understand each other so perfectly, and there isn't one thing we don't know about the other.

It's strange how quickly we became so close. It only took us a month. But I know it's not just an illusion.

Riku told me the other day of what happened that made him lose his faith in people. His Dad used to beat his Mom, back when he was around 11. His Mom got badly battered, and was sent to hospital. His Dad went to jail.

Riku was sent to a care home until his Mom got better, and his time there was awful. Nobody seemed to care about what happened to him – he was passed around like some sort of bomb about to explode – nobody wanted him for too long.

He was bullied, and that was when he decided he wouldn't stand for it anymore. He was letting himself be vulnerable, making the pain stronger. So he became tough, and he that's how he gained that powerful personality he has now.

His Mom eventually recovered, both physically and emotionally, but by that time he'd lost all his faith in people. He sort of hoped that seeing and being with his Mom again would change that, but it did the exact opposite.

Instead of giving him the love and compassion that Riku needed, his Mom shoved him away, unable to even look him in the eye. She said that he reminded her too much of his Dad, Ansem. And so Riku became bitter.

When he was 15, his Mom remarried, to a guy called Sakoshi. Sakoshi was everything the meaning of his name made him out to be – quick-thinking, witty and wise. He immediately saw what was wrong with Riku, and knew that not much could be done to help.

Nevertheless, he tried. He sent him to various psychiatrists, hoping to no avail that one of them would be able to break through Riku's tough outer shell, revealing the vulnerable boy that lay behind it.

But, after thirteen different psychiatrists, and two, long years, Sakoshi began believing that Riku was a failed case – the bitter mask was no longer just a mask – it was him.

The death of Riku's mother came when he was seventeen, and Sakoshi found he couldn't cope with the failing boy teen, whilst maintaining a high-class boarding school at the same time.

And so he gave up on the poor boy, and instead did the only thing left to do – spoiled him.

He didn't shout when Riku failed all his tests. He didn't get angry when Riku dropped out of college. He didn't refuse when Riku decided to move into the boarding school permanently. He didn't do anything when Riku became a bad influence on the other students.

He couldn't do anything.

And that's the life story of my Riku. I couldn't believe it when he first told me – I still can't believe it. Just by looking at him, you'd never know. I feel so, so sorry for him. But also flattered that I'm the only person he'd trust enough with this information.

And so I told him everything there is to know about me.

About how Sora and I were best friends. About how I grew to like him. About how I felt overshadowed by Namine. About my parents death. About the scar that still lingers on my arm when I punched that window upon first hearing the news. About my Aunt Tifa. About my goodbye with Sora. About _everything_.

I never thought I could feel this way about someone again after Sora, but it looks like miracles do happen.

I don't know where I'd be without Riku, but I know I could survive without him. I'm not going to make the same mistake I did with Sora, by letting myself get too attached. That would be dumb.

I want to be prepared for it if ever we are separated, which I doubt we will be.

I never imagined myself to be able to be so close to someone so much older than me. I like it. All the other guys…Hayner, Pence, Seifer, Rai…whilst they are mature, they haven't been through enough, haven't seen enough of the world to understand me.

Riku's so wise now, so omnipotent. And we can both tell what the other is thinking. We've become a part of each other.

Now, it's me and Riku against the world.

* * *

**Sorry for the long long wait! I swear it was entirely unintentional!**

**But…here I am!**

**I can't wait to get things moving with this story :3 So till then, bear with me!**

**Please please review and I'll love you forever!! C**

**You guys are really cool :)**

**Thanksss!**


	5. Phone Calls

**BROKEN SILHOUETTES**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything; Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura do.

**Authors Note**: Woohoo, so this is the chapter that finally gets things moving! And it's also the last chapter of Part 1! Part 1 was kinda short, huh? XD Ah well, enjoy!

**Thanks: **AmbrosiusSchuyler, DarkHeartless12 , DPhpFOPobsessed, darkrystalangel, eCZi , BlacAngel, Sora15, flee the scene, hannahbanana06, Unknown11, Flashing Silver, khfan

* * *

**Phone Calls**

**14/10/07**

Jeez, it's been a while since I've written in here, huh?

I guess it's 'cause I only ever really feel the need to have a diary or whatever if I'm feeling lonely.

And I'm sure not lonely any more!

I'm guessing it must be that, because back when I lived on the Islands I never felt the need for a diary. And that was when I had everyone else.

But when I first came here, I didn't have anyone, so I wrote in here, to have someone to talk to.

But now, I have Riku.

So I bet you're wondering why I'm writing in here again, huh?

Well, I don't really know either, to be honest. Old habits die hard?

Eh, whatever.

So, let me fill you in on what's been going on.

It's the start of a new school year, obviously, meaning we've changed dorms. We got to choose our room-mates this year – I'm with Double-K, of course! It's _so_ much better than back when I shared with Quistis, ew.

Riku and I are still a couple, of course. And we're stronger than ever! Today's our six month anniversary, actually.

This is the longest I've ever been in a relationship! Same for Riku too, which is surprising – it's not like he's been lacking in the girlfriend department.

But he tells me that it's different with me. He says I'm special. And I believe him. No, I'm not being a stupid, naïve little girl. I genuinely believe that we have something different.

Riku turned twenty last month. Wow…he's so _old._ Strange how I can connect so well with someone who should be way past my level of maturity. But then, I've been through more than the average 16-year-old.

For once, Riku didn't have a big celebration. We spent the day with the Nobodies, before we went back to his – oh yeah, he's moved out of the boarding school now.

His Dad – or step-dad, should I say – thought it was getting too crowded for him. So he bought Riku a modern apartment on the outskirts of the city. After having a few words with his step-dad, I was given special permission to go and visit him when I want. Which I often do.

Anyway, so we went back to his place, and I cooked him a nice romantic meal for two – as the saying goes, the way to a man's heart is through the stomach!

It was a nice, quiet evening in for the two of us. We've been having quite a few of those recently, actually. Not that we don't enjoy the night-life any less – we just love spending some quality time together every now and again.

And today I'm meeting Riku's step-dad properly for the first time, as a celebration of our…commitment. It's kind of nerve-racking, actually. It makes it all seem so much more…official. Not that I don't like us having a serious relationship though. It's just…commitment is a scary thing.

But it's not like we're getting married or anything. I mean, I'm just meeting his step-dad, the guy who was the only one who cared for him. It'll be nice.

Riku said he would've loved to meet my parents. I'm not too sure if that feeling's mutual. Somehow, I don't think they'd approve of Riku. Not that he's a bad guy or anything…just, he's twenty, and uneducated, and…you get the picture.

Not that I would tell Riku that, though. I think he'd get kind of mad. He doesn't seem to realise that the life I'm living now is completely different to my old one. He doesn't seem to realise how much I've had to change in order to become who I am now.

Well, whatever. I'd better go get ready now; Riku's picking me up in half an hour. Now, how do you dress when you're meeting your boyfriend's parental figure?

**15/10/07**

Oh man…yesterday _totally_ sucked. It was an absolute _disaster_.

…

Except it _so_ wasn't!!

It was brilliant, let me tell you. Sakoshi is a great guy! I can really tell he cares for Riku, although he does spoil him slightly. But who cares – more for us, then!

We all went out for a pleasant meal on the town. Sakoshi was real nice, and offered to pay for us all. He didn't look down on me at all, the way I feared he would, but instead treated me with respect – and he even laughed at all my lame-ass jokes!

We ate at this really cute little Japanese Sushi Bar – the food was _awesome!_ It must've cost Sakoshi loads! But he didn't seem to mind – he's loaded!

I really think he likes me! Which is great, 'cause you know, 1) he's my boyfriend's guardian, and 2) he runs the school.

So things are looking great!!

**27/12/07**

Crap.

Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.

_Crap!_

Yeah, so as you may've figured, something bad happened. Real bad.

Hayner got expelled.

We were at a Christmas bash at Riku's place, and Hayner, for some stupid, _stupid_ reason brought along drugs.

Yeah; drugs.

I don't know where he got them from, or how. Double-K won't tell me either, even though she was with him.

Basically, he brought them along, enough for everyone to try and all. He had most of it – he was completely high by the end of the night. I didn't want to try any – I mean, they're _drugs._

Apparently the music was too loud, and some of the neighbours had complained. The cops came and crashed the party, telling us we needed to calm it down a bit.

Everything would've been okay if Hayner had just stayed inside. But no; for some inexplicable reason – well, actually, the fact that he was on drugs was reason enough – he ran out of the house stark naked, giving one of the disturbed policemen a lap dance.

Obviously, they figured he was either _really _drunk, or really high.

So, they went through the usual procedure, doing all the various tests. Naturally, they found he was drunk, but they also discovered that he'd done drugs.

They immediately informed the school of this, (well, as soon as it was daylight anyway), and Hayner was expelled without further notice.

He's already been sent home. And that was only 3 days ago.

He's lucky he wasn't sent to jail or something.

How could he have been so _stupid?_

**23/01/08**

So, we're now living in the year 2008! Cool. It feels no different, ha ha.

I'm getting worried about Double-K. She keeps going out late, and I don't know who with.

I've heard rumours, though, that she's been hanging around with this local gang, who are known for how dangerous they are. They're called The Cobras or something.

I know you shouldn't always believe rumours, like the ones there were about me when I first arrived. But it does sound plausible…

So now I don't know what to do about her. She won't tell me anything, but I can't trust her. And I'm worried about her safety if she _is_ hanging around with that gang. They've been on, like, the news before, for starting gun-fights and stuff.

I just wish she'd tell me what she was up to!

I also think she may be on drugs, like Hayner was. I mean, all the signs are there. And she _was_ with Hayner when he got his, so she obviously knows where to get them from.

I fear they may be from The Cobras. Which is really not good. Gangs get so possessive over stuff like drugs and money – I doubt they'd show her any mercy if something were to go wrong.

Well…I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

**17/02/08**

It's my birthday today! I'm 17! Woohoo, finally catching up to Riku, huh?

I still haven't got to the bottom of the whole Double-K business. But nothings gotten worse or anything. So I'll take that as a good sign.

And life has resumed as normal without Hayner. I wonder how he's doing. Last I heard, his rich parents sent him over to some strict boy's camp in Halloween Town to try to straighten him up. Poor guy!

Anyway, this year, there won't be any repeats of what happened last year at my party. In fact, we're not even going to have a big party. Just us Nobodies hanging out, and then me and Riku having a pleasant night in. Just like we did for Riku's birthday! That's the way I like it now.

There's also no way I'm going to get as drunk as I did last time…this year, I want to actually be able to _remember_ what happens. Ugh. And I could do without the pounding headache that comes the morning after!

It's weird, Riku's started calling me 'Kai', and for some reason, every time he says that I get a weird ping in my chest. And it's not because I like Riku calling me that.

You know, I'm not doing so bad in school any more. Yeah, my grades still kinda suck, D being my average; but hey – at least they're not F's any more, huh? Gotta stay positive!

**24/02/08**

So I was so right to be worried about Double-K.

See, recently she's been coming home really late – even later, that is – and on the odd occasion she's brought back a guy with her. Now this isn't that much of a surprise – Double-K's known to kind of, get around.

But what worries me the most is that I'm _pretty_ sure these are all guys from The Cobras.

Which is not good _at all_.

'Cause all the guy's she brings back are different – and if news got out to the gang that she were sleeping with all of them, all hell would break loose.

Also, I've noticed her crying quite a few times, late at night, under the covers, when she thinks I'm asleep. Now this shocks me because in all the time I've known her, Double-K's _never _cried. She's a really strong person!

And the worst of it all…I've noticed bruises on her arms. They're not too serious or anything, but they're always there, and I know for a fact they're not from sports or anything, because she _never_ does sport.

She tries to hide them by wearing long sleeved t-shirts, and never rolling her sleeves up, but they still didn't escape my notice. And the fact that she's covering more skin practically _proves_ she's hiding something, because Double-K _lives_ for skimpy clothes.

Whenever I've tried talking about it with her, she just dismisses the conversation, waving me off, pretending as if every thing's okay.

But I know that it really isn't.

**06/03/08**

Paramore are getting _really_ popular now. Seriously, it's a blast! We're like, a proper band now, and get proper gigs. We just need to find someone to sign us up now. Fingers crossed there'll be an agent at a concert!

Did I tell you about the Riku thing yet? I don't think I did…

Well, the things is…um, it's not like we're breaking up or anything, or we don't like each other as much…in fact, it may be quite the contrary.

Recently, Riku's been acting kind of…possessive. Like, annoying possessive. He seems to want me all to himself, and gets jealous if I so much as _glance _at another guy. He barely lets me out any more, even though Double-K needs me.

It's getting kind of annoying, to say the least. But I don't want to say anything, because I don't want to ruin what we have. I mean, we've been dating for _so_ long now. In one month and eight days it will have been _one year. _That's right. Riku, the self-proclaimed ladies-man, and Kairi, the cynical bitch, will have been dating for longer than anyone else we know.

Suck on _that_!

But anyway…I'm getting off track here, huh?

As I was saying, this thing with Riku; so far it's not a major problem or anything; he's performing actions that I don't find difficult to ignore. However, if this problem persists and his possessiveness increases..._then_, I may have a problem.

But...I'm sure it's just a phase. Things will work out. I mean, they've got to, right?

**20/03/08**

The possessiveness thing isn't getting any better. Worse, if anything.

And now, it's not just that. I also think he wants to do 'it'. Something I'm still not comfortable with.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I think he's going to force me or anything – definitely not! I mean, we still really, really like each other.

And even though he's possessive, I'm not going to let that ruin our relationship. Because what we have is _really_ good. He's almost perfect for me!

I guess I'll just have to live with it, huh? Try and ignore it, and hope that it will get better.

It's not like it's hurting me or anything. It's just slightly annoying...okay, _a lot_ annoying. But you know, I can live with a bit of annoyance – the rest of him makes up for it!

And I'd probably spend all my time with him anyway, even if he _did_ feel comfortable about letting me go out with my friends. Because the time we spend together is still so amazing; the fact that he's kind of-ish forcing me into it doesn't change anything.

It's just...I mean, it would be nice to have the choice, you know?

Things with Double-K are still the same. No better, no worse – thank God. I've tried talking to her again, hinting at how dangerous The Cobras are and stuff, but I doubt she's picking up on any of it.

I don't really know what to do, to be honest. I mean, I'm trying to do everything I can for her, but it's not _working._ How the hell am I supposed to help her if she won't _let_ me help her?

I've tried everything. I suppose I'll just have to leave it now, huh? She can't say I didn't warn her.

I'll just have to hope things turn out all right.

**14/04/08**

It's mine and Riku's one-year anniversary today! Can you believe it? I sure can't! It seems sort of _unreal_ that I've been with someone for so long.

But you know what? I _love _it.

Riku and I are going out for a romantic meal tonight, and I can't wait to see what present he's bought me! It should be amazing!

It's just going to be so...perfect!!

**15/04/08**

We nearly did it. _Nearly. _But not quite.

See, it was all going really well. We'd had a lovely meal out at that nice new Italian Restaurant in the gardens of Radiant Garden – ha ha.

Anyway, then we went back to Riku's place, and snuggled down to watch some old romantic movie – I didn't get what most of it was about, seeing as my eyes were usually closed and my face on Riku's!

So then we went to Riku's bedroom, and were just, you know, kissing and stuff. And then, like last year at my party, Riku tried lifting my top off. But this time, I let him.

Of course, I had no intentions of going _that_ far. I just figured that there was no harm in showing a bit of skin, you know? I mean, Riku was topless, I could be too. Well, half topless, anyway.

That was as far as we went, of course. But it was nice – made a change from just kissing...which we do a lot of anyway. So we kind of needed to take things further, even if it was only by a _bit._

Because like, it _was_ our one-year, so we needed to prove that in some way, if you get me?

But yeah. It was nice. I could tell Riku wanted to go further, but he could also tell I didn't want to. And he would never pressure me into doing something I didn't want.

Oh, and guess what he bought me for our anniversary? This gold star charm I've had my eye on for the past few months, from that really expensive jewellery shop. It's _so_ nice. It's like, kind of in the shape of a star, but more curvy – it's really pretty! I sort of recognize it...seems familiar, but whatever.

So, basically, things are great!

**17/05/08**

I've been here for over two years now! Wow! That's a _long_ time.

I've just realised that I _never_ think about my old friends any more. Ever. And even now, as I'm writing this, I'm not thinking of them. I mean, yeah, I'm thinking of how I don't think of them, but no specific people are coming to my mind.

It's all in the past now, and I have no intention of bringing it back.

I'm so happy with my new life. I mean, yeah, maybe I don't have as much money as I used to, maybe I'm not as clever, sensible, innocent as I used to be, but still; this way of life is _so_ much more fun.

I talked to one of those career people last week, and she scoffed at my dream of becoming a singer even though in reality, that's a high possibility. I mean, I'm in a band who's on their way up, and I'm a hell of a good singer. So what's the problem?

I told her I wasn't planning on going to university, and she told me that that was the stupidest thing she had ever heard. But hey, it's not like I _could _go even if I _wanted_ to. My grades are shite!

Basically, she rambled on about how I was wasting my life away, heading nowhere, when I used to have so much in store for me, bla bla bla. Whatever.

Why should I let a prick like her get in the way of my desires? No way!

And anyway, even if Paramore _don't_ succeed – which I highly doubt – I'll still have Riku, and he's loaded. And then there's always that money and stuff my parents left me, which I'll get as soon as I turn eighteen – which isn't actually too far away.

So, contrary to what she says, life is _good._

* * *

**xxx**

Sighing, Kairi Lockheart fondly placed down the blue ink pen which she had been writing with moments before, observing the page before her.

A small smile reaching her face, she closed her diary, placing it in the top drawer of her bedside table, opposite from where the desk she had previously been sitting on was placed.

Checking the time on the silver wristwatch that hung loosely around her thin wrists, Kairi sighed once more, indecisive on what to do until her room-mate returned from wherever she was.

Making her way over to the uncomfortable bed that lay on the right side of the room, light spilling onto it from the window beside it, Kairi threw herself onto it, closing her eyes as her fingers fumbled in her pockets, clutching around the charm that lay in them.

Bringing it out, she observed the gold star chain admirably, her fingers running over the smooth, unscathed surface.

"Thank you, Riku," she whispered to herself, smiling happily at the thought of the older boy.

Rolling over to her side, Kairi squealed aloud as she misjudged her placing, realising that she was closer to the edge of the bed than she had originally thought; this resulted in her falling ungracefully to the ground, the charm that she still clutched in her hand falling loose and ending up somewhere beneath her bed.

Groaning to herself, Kairi rubbed her head in the spot that she had banged it, praying inwardly that no bruise would be left. She then proceeded to peer under the bed, searching for any glimpse of the precious charm.

Finding none, Kairi sat up, huffing. Sighing, she flattened herself on the carpeted floor, extending one hand under the bed, feeling around in an attempt to find the valuable she had misplaced.

Her hand clasping around something small and star-shaped, Kairi grinned triumphantly, letting out a small "Yes!" of congratulation.

Smug, she retreated her arm out, her shoulder straining from the stretch it had been put under, her back sore from the uncomfortable position in which it had been arched during this recovery.

Opening her hand to reveal her treasure, Kairi's smug grin quickly faded as her eyes were met with an unexpected view – rather than a gold star, her hand held a different star-shape – but this one was made out of thalassa shells.

Her mouth opening slightly, Kairi peered at the wrongful charm, her mind processing various different memories until it rested upon the one that reminded her of how she had received it.

"How did you end up under here?" she murmured to herself, standing to her feet, her eyes still upon the thalassa charm. Turning to the side, she knelt to open the bottom drawer of her night stand, with intentions of putting the thalassa shell inside.

However, her actions were interrupted by a weak, but steady, continuous knock sounding on the door of the room, sending waves of irritation to run through her spine.

Rolling her eyes, Kairi stood once more, allowing the thalassa shell charm that she still held in her hand to be thrown into the random direction that she had chucked it in, once more sticking her hand under the bed to retrieve her gold star, which she quickly found.

Checking her reflection in the mirror that hung on the bare wall, and quickly fluffing up her hair, which was currently a tangled mess lying atop her head, Kairi yawned loudly, stretching her arms in the air above, making no move to answer the door.

As the annoying knocking failed to discontinue, Kairi groaned in frustration, dragging herself to the source of constant noise.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she muttered irritably under her breath, displeased with this minor interruption.

"Yes?" she asked, pulling open the door, annoyance lining her tone as she observed the dorm master that stood politely outside her door.

"Kairi Lockheart?" the ageing man checked, his expression clearing once she had nodded her head, confirming his statement. "Good. You have a phone call waiting for you at the main office."

Kairi began to follow him down the hallway, rolling her eyes at how slow he was managing to walk, contrary to her usually brisk pace.

"Oh? Who is it?" Kairi inquired, curious as to who would call the school rather than her cell phone, as she was accustomed to people doing.

The dorm master shrugged, obviously uninterested in the matter, much to Kairi's irritation. She frowned, shooting daggers at his back, the question she had previously asked now forgotten, replaced with a burning desire to hurt this man in some form.

Reaching the main office, Kairi waved the dorm master away, turning to face the secretary. She leaned against the pristine, white reception surface, putting all her weight onto her arms.

"Hey! Kairi here. I'm told I have a phone call?" she asked, tapping her fingers tetchily, glancing at her watch, eager to be on her way as soon as possible.

The young secretary behind the reception glanced up momentarily, pausing the conversation she was having on the other phone in order to answer Kairi's question.

"Yeah," the secretary nodded, pointing to where another phone stood on hold to Kairi's right. Kairi put her thumb up in response, before reaching over to grab the phone.

"Hello?" she asked curiously, her interest at who was calling now returning.

"Kairi? Is that you?"

Kairi's voice caught in her throat as the recognizable sound entered her ear. A familiar image flooded through her mind, memories zigzagging over one another as Kairi gulped, pushing her voice through, the phone almost falling from her hand.

"N-Naminé?"

* * *

**Soo…the storyline finally progresses! Jeez, writing the foundation can be so tedious at times, huh?**

**Well, whatever, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and progression!**

**I've already written chapter 5 out ;D go me!**

**But that doesn't mean I'm going to post it straight away! It will be a quick update though, of course. But I'm going to wait until I get a sufficient amount of reviews, m'kay? XD**

**So everyone, you know what to do…**

**REVIEW PLEASE!!**


	6. Shadows

**BROKEN SILHOUETTES**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

**Authors Note:** Lawl, I'm writing this before I've even written Chapter 4, teehee. Anyway, this is the first chapter of Part 2! Yay! And alas, I present you with…the one, the only…Sora!! XD Gah…it's sorta…depressing though / lawl…whatever, enjoy!

**Just to let y'all now, I'm sorry to say I won't be doing individual review replies anymore. My reason for this is simply the fact that I **_**don't have time.**_** Gah! I really do appreciate all the reviews though, don't ever forget that! :D **

**Thanks: **Sora15, iChibi, eCZi, flee the scene, DPhpFOPobsessed, Kanie, Flashing Silver, AmbrosiusSchuyler, BlacAngel, darkrystalangel, DarkHeartless12, Fabula Novella, lebrezie , Just.A.BrokenDream, PurpleGhostGal, Ryusabre

* * *

-:-:-:-**Part 2: REBORN MEMORIES**-:-:-:-

* * *

**Chapter 5: Shadows**

_He'd always remember the day that she left._

_It was that day that he stopped living properly. Without her, he was nothing. He felt lost, alone, as if all colour had been erased from his prismatic world._

_His friends noticed his difference of character – they noticed it, but didn't act upon it. For they had no idea how far deep down the hurt really went._

_When she left his life, it was as if someone had reached into his body and ripped out his heart, leaving him with a constant burning pain that felt so literal._

_He vowed he wouldn't give up on her. He vowed he would keep in touch, bring her back into his life; and with that, bring himself back._

_But, as the days passed, he could never quite muster up the strength to call her, email her, text her, write her._

_For every time he so much as glanced at her familiar name scrawled messily in his phone book, or her email placed oh so fittingly at the top of his mail list, he felt a sharp stab shoot through him, as if a dagger had been thrust right into his very soul._

_And he couldn't bear it._

_The boy was determined, though. He had made a promise, and he wasn't prepared to break it so easily._

_His friends and family, however, were._

_They thought he should let her go. They saw how much her memory hurt him, and they decided it would be best if he forgot about her completely. They thought if he completely blocked her out of his life, he would soon forget._

_But oh, how wrong they were._

_This had the completely wrong effect. When his good friend erased her number from his phone and her email from his computer and her address from his phone book, he felt as if his life was over once more._

_He couldn't deal with it; couldn't deal with the fact that he had no way of reaching her, no way of ever contacting her again. And what hurt him the most was that no-one seemed to understand._

_Sure, they reassured him that he wasn't the only one that missed her – they did too. But if that was so, why did they want to forget about her?_

_They urged him to believe that she was in a better place now, that it was best for her to get away and deal with her parent's death on her own. But then, he asked, why was it that her sister could stay? His reply to this was always silence._

_The broken teen pined after his lost love, yearning for her touch, her smell, her breath, her kiss. He didn't know how to survive without her. He'd become addicted to her presence, and was now suffering severe withdrawal symptoms, without so much as a "Kairi" patch to help him get along._

_It was after four months that he first started seeing her._

_It wasn't real, he knew that much. It was a ghost, a reflection of the past; a mere shadow conjured from his shattered memories._

_But he still found himself seeing more and more of her – everywhere he looked, there she was, watching over him like a fallen angel, her lips always parted as if to speak, her colourless eyes glazed._

_He _knew_ that she was just a figment of his imagination, an illusion created from his dreams. But he couldn't help but love seeing her around, smiling at the familiar face, the lips that he had once oh so innocently kissed._

_He became even more distant and lifeless, pining over this illusion, living in the past where all the ghosts and shadows resided._

_He had stopped talking to his friends; he had stopped caring for anyone except this cruel memory ghost. He became isolated, paranoid, alone._

_It was then that she started speaking to him._

_People thought he was going crazy, but he knew better. He knew that this was a blessing sent from the heavens, a way in which to keep him going until he was once more reunited with the one he loved._

_He found himself talking to her about his feelings, the past, his present, and their future. He recalled old memories, laughing at some, crying at some, but finding each one of them uniquely magical._

_He started failing in his school work. He never bothered in lessons, never listened, and whenever anybody tried to get through to him, he seemed to be off in his own little world._

_His friends and family had begun to get truly worried about the poor young boy. He barely ate any more, and didn't even speak when directly spoken to. He became skinny, weak, and pale – as if he too had become a ghost._

_And so finally, after 9 months, his parents decided that something had to be done._

_They took him to the local psychiatrist, in hope that she would manage to break through the tough shell the boy had hidden himself under. But this was all in vain; no change was seen in the teen. If anything, he had become worse – a lot worse._

_His parents completely freaked out when they saw the fresh red scratches gauged into his pale skin. They yelled at him, grabbed him by his shoulders and shook him, as if hoping to shake some life back into him. They couldn't understand why their son was so keen upon ending his once so perfect life._

_They begged him to stop, unable to comprehend the thought of losing their eldest child in such a horrible manner._

_They asked him repeatedly why he was doing this to himself, why he was causing himself this bodily pain._

_Unexpectedly, they received an answer. He told them that 'she' had requested he end his life, for she was too dying, and she wanted him to join her in heaven, so they could be eternally together. His parents exchanged worried glances, before rushing off to seek help._

_Help was found in the form of Dr. Moon, a private psychiatrist working in the region of Twilight Town. Her rates were extraordinarily high, but her reputation pushed all worries of these figures aside._

_And so they took him to see her._

_It was months before anyone noticed a change in him again; but slowly, surely, the boy was returning to his old self._

_Dr. Moon had managed to persuade him, in some way, not to cut himself any more. No-one knew how she did it, and quite frankly, no-one cared. All that mattered was that he no longer had the desire to end his young life._

_And slowly, over the long, tedious months, she managed to bring some life back into the young boy, all the while keeping the memory of _her_ away, knowing what affect it would have on him._

_She taught him how to be sociable once more, how to speak to others without the feeling of paranoia that constantly hung over him._

_She taught him how important his education was, and he slowly began to move back into the world of school, taking slow, hesitant steps, until he found he could walk once more on his own. _

_She taught him how to trust people, how to see past the masks that his imagination put in front of them, how to see that people really did care for him._

_She taught him how to ignore the shadows of the past, how to move past them without as much as a backwards glance._

_And with this, she taught him how to forget._

_When he emerged from his therapy, the now seventeen year old was unrecognisable from the sixteen year old who had first stepped into the big, modern psychiatric building._

_He was completely new, as if Dr. Moon had somehow rebuilt him, rather than merely moulding his previous self back into something decent._

_The new him was a keen worker – he studied relentlessly, obtaining the highest marks in all tests, passing tests with top marks, enthusiastic and ambitious about every challenge thrown at him._

_And he was as sociable as they could get – he thrust himself back into the world of people, making fast friends with anyone he met, and welcoming back his old friends with open arms._

_He was a changed man. He was no longer the naïve young boy who had waved off his love at the dock; nor was he the lost soul who pined after something that was long gone._

_For he now no longer thought of her. It was as if she had been erased from his memory, dismissing any chance of him returning to his previous state._

_The now young man found himself looking at other girls, his mind hardly skimming over the girl he had once loved so. He found himself falling for the one he least expected to, the one who he found no longer reminded him of his lost love._

_And he found that without the memories of the past haunting him, he was happier than he could have ever been._

_But then, what would happen if the ghosts of his past entered his shining life once more?_

_It was a question that nobody knew the answer to, and that nobody wanted to find out the answer to._

_But it was the question with which it's answer they would all too soon be faced._

* * *

**Taadaaaa!**

**Happy now, everyone?**

**Lover boy is back in the picture!!**

**So, it was a slightly angsty chapter, and short, but who cares? It was necessary.**

**Please review and I'll love you forever!! :D**

**Remember, the more reviews I get the faster I'll upload the next chapter, which will, subsequently, be the first proper chapter with Sora and Kairiiii.**

**So go on, clicky the button! :D**


	7. Irony

**BROKEN SILHOUETTES**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything; Square Enix and Tetsuya Nomura do.

**Authors Note**: Yes, the main foundation is complete! _Finally!_ I hope you all enjoy how the rest of the story progresses now :D Not much Sokai action yet, but some build up is still necessary…keep holding on XD This is actually sorta like a prologue to the this part of the story haha…it reveals a lot of things, let's just say. So, enjoy!

Oh, and just to let you know right away, the chapters in this story aren't going to be as long as my OIAM chapters. Why? –shrug- Simply because the plot isn't as complex, and third-person means there's not as many gaps to write about character feelings…but don't worry, they'll still be long enough :) And anyway, didn't someone famous once say: _it's quality, not quantity._ So there you go, haha.

Although I can't really promise anything on the quality. I am sooo tired right now. My eyes are literally drooping as I right this, and I just want to go to sleep, but I really want to get this posted first…so yeah, sorry, but at least you have a chapter, huh?

Enjoy, I guess!

**Oh, and please vote on the poll on my profile please...thanks! :)**

**Thanks: **iChibi, Fabula Novella, KHshortfuse , BlacAngel, flee the scene, taryn, Flashing Silver, Sora15, eCZi, AmbrosiusSchuyler, DarkHeartless12, RedWolf17, pinayangel528, lebrezie, Lil Courty123, Shazi-Chan, Jishinibaka-chan, Childhood-Disruption, Zettai Eniguma, (anonymous), SARAKATE, ScattereD59DreamS

* * *

"_Hello?" she asked curiously, her interest at who was calling now returning. _

_"Kairi? Is that you?"_

"_N-Naminé?"_

**Chapter 6: Irony**

Placing the phone back down on the receiver shakily, Kairi slowly turned and began her journey back to her dorm slowly, in a zombie like trance. The world seemed to haze out of her vision, her heart thudding angrily in her chest and an unfamiliar buzz blocking her ears.

She nodded numbly as fellow students greeted her in the hallways, barely registering who it was she was passing. All she could think about was her sister's – yes, her _sister's_ – voice playing over and over in her brain, like a stuck record.

The shock in her mind was still strong; she still couldn't quite believe that after so long – 2 _long_ years – Namine had finally contacted her. Just when she had begun to forget about everyone back home.

The phone call had made her angry; for she didn't want Namine and Tifa and everyone else back in her life – not _now_. Not after she had worked so hard to build up a life without them. If they came back into the picture now…well, they wouldn't fit.

For she was a different person to whom she used to be. She had different interests, friends, likes, dislikes. She doubted that she would fit into their "fairytale" world, where everything always worked out.

And what was more, she didn't even _want_ to fit in. She liked who she had become – she liked her new attitude, new way of living, new friends, new personality. Although that hole in her heart had never quite closed, where she was now was the closest she had felt to home since her parent's death.

So if they all returned, smiling and laughing and dancing and singing, like all were joyous in the cruel world, she didn't really know how she would react.

And she didn't know how they would react to her.

Sure, she was pretty sure they had all changed. Two years had passed; it was only natural to grow up and become a different person.

But who she had become…it was totally different. She was the sort of person her and her family used to look upon in shame. And although Kairi now, obviously, understood how rebellious teenagers minds worked, she wasn't quite sure if all the people from the Islands would agree.

She didn't doubt that they would disapprove of her. They would frown upon Riku, of course. They would look at her new clothing in disgust. They would retch when they heard that she actually drank alcohol.

And to be honest, Kairi really wasn't ready to face all that yet. Dealing with it all would be too much for her.

For Namine would be coming. When she had rung, she had cheerfully informed the baffled Kairi that she would be visiting in a few weeks time, when summer break began, and that she'd call or text her once more to confirm.

Kairi had awkwardly asked why, wondering fervently what had brought about this sudden contact.

In her eyes, Namine's reason didn't qualify as to why she should come see her. So what if there was a baby on the way? (_Trust Tifa, though_, Kairi thought amusedly, _she probably didn't even know who the father was_!) Really, what did that matter to Kairi? If she was so desperate to tell her, couldn't she just send an email – was it really necessary to come visit her at Radiant Academy?

And what was more, Namine had told Kairi excitedly, was that she was bringing her boyfriend with her as a surprise – Kairi had uncomfortably congratulated her and questioned who it was. When Namine didn't answer, she assumed it was Roxas, who she had always been fond of.

But what surprised Kairi the most about the whole ordeal was Namine's _attitude_. Sure, she went through all the ritual "It's been too long!", "I've missed you!", and "How are you's?" But they didn't seem real in anyway; it in no way felt like they hadn't spoken for two years.

And the way Namine dominated the conversation surprised Kairi; she blabbered on and on and on, barely leaving the shocked Kairi room to say anything at all. She had treated the phone call as if it was a casual call to her best friend, not her long lost sister.

All in all, Kairi's feelings were an unpleasant mixture of shock, anger, annoyance…and was that a tiny little bit of…_happiness?_

Oh yes; for however hard she attempted to push the growing thought to the back of her cluttered mind, she couldn't quite hide away the sparkling image of the spiky haired brunette that popped up whenever she thought of home.

And who, of course, somehow, through all her attempts to prevent it, managed to bring that small, pure smile back to her face.

But no; she wouldn't think those thoughts, _couldn't_ think those thoughts. _He_ was the one who had never tried; _he_ was the one who had broke her heart; _he_ was the one that didn't care for her, had moved on.

Well, so had she.

But wasn't it ironic how all of a sudden, right when she had given up and moved on, her old wishes suddenly decided to come true?

Sighing as she shook her dainty head, she entered her dorm room, automatically wandering over to her dressing table to apply more layers of think black mascara to her already heavily done up violet eyes. Once satisfied, she casually picked up her cell that was lying on the table.

Pressing a few quick buttons, she waited patiently for a few moments until the ringing stopped and she heard a greeting from the other end of the line.

"Hey babe," Kairi spoke quickly. "I'm bored. Wanna come over?"

Kairi heard a chuckle. _"Already done._"

As the line went dead, Kairi creased her eyebrows in confusion; but his statement made sense as she heard an immediate knock on her door. Smiling, she skipped over to it, flinging it open and pulling her boyfriend in for a hug.

It amused her how easily Riku could come to her dorm; if any of the other guys had been caught in the girl's block they would be in some deep trouble; but not Riku. All he had to do was remind the dorm master's of whose son he was; either that, or a quick charming smile would win the ladies over instantly – and sometimes even the men.

"Hey Riku!" she said happily, grabbing his hand and leading him into her dorm. "That was fast," she added teasingly.

Riku smirked, dragging a hand casually through his tousled silver locks. "Well, you're just _that_ amazing," he murmured, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her closer to his body, leaning in to pace a few soft kisses on her cheek.

Kairi giggled, returning the embrace willingly, but the sound of her laughter was slightly off, she noted. The shock of the phone call still hadn't worn off.

Riku immediately picked up on this. "Kairi? You okay? You seem kind of…tense."

The redhead shrugged, biting her full pink lip. "Yeah, I guess."

Riku quirked an eyebrow. "You…guess? What, did something happen?"

Kairi shrugged again, avoiding his gaze. "Nothing important."

"It's to do with you, of course it's important," Riku breathed, pulling her over to the bed where they sat at the edge.

Kairi hesitated. "I just…I got a phone call from – oh, never mind," Kairi began, chickening out. She was afraid if she said it, the likelihood of it becoming reality would increase. Pretty stupid of her, but her desperation to keep her new life intact had created this frantic sense of urgency.

"Kairi," Riku started softly, "Whatever it is, just spit it out. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want. Just let me know, so I can stop wondering and worrying over something that's probably not as big as I'm expecting."

Kairi sighed. "Fine," she muttered unwillingly, unable to resist those aqua eyes. "I got a call from Namine…you know, my sister? Turns out she's coming here to visit in a few weeks time…"

"Why?" Riku asked, confused.

Kairi shrugged. "No idea. She said Tifa – my aunt – is pregnant, but that's not actually a reason for her to come over here. So to be honest, I really don't know."

"Is it…just Namine?" Riku asked tersely, his grip on Kairi tightening.

"She said she was bringing along her boyfriend," Kairi revealed casually, "So I assume she means Roxas."

"How do you know?"

"They always had a little something going on," Kairi teased lightly, trying to soften the hardened atmosphere; but Riku wasn't having it.

"But…what if you're wrong?" he asked tensely. Kairi cocked an eyebrow.

"Okay…so she's dating Tidus or some other guy…does it really matter?" she wondered.

"It does to me," Riku muttered lowly, in such a quiet tone that Kairi barely heard him; she wasn't even sure if he intended her to. Choosing to dismiss the comment, to prevent even further confusion, Kairi abruptly changed the conversation.

"But what does any of that matter now?" she asked lightly, pushing Riku back on her bed. "That's weeks away. For now, it's just me and you…let's make the most of it."

Riku smirked. "I like the sound of that," he murmured as he leant his head up to meet Kairi's awaiting lips.

* * *

"I'm so excited!" The blonde girl squealed excitedly, pacing around the room energetically, a wide smile overtaking her features. A dark haired woman sat in an armchair to the left, casually flicking through a magazine.

"Yes, Namine, I know," she murmured uninterestedly, her gazing flicking to the sixteen year old momentarily.

"Oh Tifa, I can't wait to see Kairi again, and meet all her new friends, and tell her about the baby and everything…" she gushed excitedly, sitting on the edge of the sofa as she looked heavenward with wide blue eyes.

Tifa sighed, placing the magazine to one side as she threw Namine a skeptical look. "Namine, tell me again…why is it that you want to go visit Kairi?"

Namine shrugged. "Well, she's my sister, right? She's the only immediate family I have left…I don't want to lose her. And I want the baby to have a proper family."

Tifa's eyes narrowed. "What, are the two of us not enough?"

Namine's eyes shifted nervously. "Well, yeah…but still! Kairi's always liked babies…"

Tifa scoffed. "Yeah. She liked _tormenting_ them."

Namine rolled her eyes. "Oh, _please_, Tifa. Kairi's not bad. I don't know why you think that. She's my sister…she's a good person. Stop this grudge you have against her, because whatever you say, I'm going to go see her!"

Tifa sighed irritably. "Okay, fine. Let's just not discuss that girl anymore…"

"Okay, okay," Namine agreed quietly, not wanting to argue further. "Oh…just one thing. _If_ you ever do get the chance to talk to Kairi, I don't think we should tell her of the baby's…origins. It would probably make her pretty angry…or something."

Tifa cocked an eyebrow. "So?"

Namine pulled a face. "Tifa…" she warned. The older woman suppressed a smile, sighing, raising two palms in peace.

"Sure, sure, whatever you want," she agreed lightly. Namine smiled in relief.

A knock on the door caused Namine's head to snap around in surprise. "I'll go get that," she assured Tifa. Tifa thanked the flaxen girl, who immediately scurried to the front door, flinging it open.

A huge smile enveloped her face as she embraced the boy standing before her. "Roxas!" she squealed happily. "Thanks so much for coming on such short notice…!"

Roxas shrugged bashfully. "It was nothing," he said quietly, giving the enthusiastic blonde a small smile.

Namine clasped her hands together. "So, the pink paint for the baby's room is right there," she indicated to a white tub sitting at the bottom of the stairs, "And we thought we would just leave the guest room for Kairi to decorate mainly…so we'll give it a lick of white, yeah?"

"Wait," Roxas interrupted, his forehead creasing in confusion, "Kairi's coming back?"

Namine hesitated, twiddling her fingers together as she cast her eyes downward. "Um…yeah, sure. We're gonna need an extra pair of hands round here."

"And…does Kairi know about this?" Roxas asked skeptically.

Namine breathed in deeply. "Well…not _quite_…but I'm sure she'll be fine with it! As I was saying to Tifa before, she loves babies, and I'm sure she's missed us all, and anyhow I bet she hates that Radiant Academy and has been waiting all these years for us to call her back home!"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Sure. Whatever you say." He sighed. "Just remember, though, it's been two years. She's barely your sister anymore. She'll probably have entirely changed – I mean, you have."

Namine raised an eyebrow. "Is that a compliment, or…?"

Roxas's eyes widened. "Oh, I meant it in a good way, of course!" he assured. Namine smiled sweetly. "All I mean is, that you don't know if she wants the same things anymore. And, to be honest, I think she'll probably be pretty pissed that she was sent off whilst you got to stay here. Kairi always was a little hotheaded."

Namine darkened. "What are you, a psychic now? She's my sister, okay? I've _got_ to see her again."

"Yeah, but…why? Please, explain to me you're reasoning again," Roxas begged, eager to get some sort of explanation from her.

"Well," Namine began, choosing her words carefully, "There's the baby; like I said, it'll be useful to have an extra set of hands. And, uh, Tifa could probably use the emotional support."

Roxas scoffed, interrupting the blonde. "What?" she asked, annoyance lining her voice. Roxas shrugged.

"Just, since when has Tifa ever cared for Kairi?" he retorted, his tone low so that the woman sitting in the room next door wouldn't overhear.

Namine's eyes narrowed. "Just since, okay? Whatever, moving on…and she's my sister, and I miss her. As does everyone! Are you trying to tell me that you don't want to see her again? You two were good friends!"

"Of _course_ I miss her," Roxas replied sincerely. "Yeah, we were great friends. And I would love to see her again. I'm just not sure if it's such a good idea, what with…you know, everything that happened."

Namine rolled her eyes. "Come on, Roxy, that was _ages_ ago!"

Roxas threw her a dubious look. "Namine, it was about half a year ago."

Namine smiled innocently. "Exactly."

"Look, are you _trying_ to make him go all…freaky on us again?" Roxas hissed, leaning towards Namine, his annoyance getting the better of him.

"Roxy," Namine whined, pouting. "Of course not. You know I don't. But he's over it now. He needs to face up to her some time."

"Yeah, well, I think it's too soon. Much too soon," Roxas added defiantly.

"Yeah, well, screw you," Namine muttered under her breath, turning away from him.

Roxas groaned in frustration. "Namine!" he moaned, grabbing her arm so she was facing him again. He brought his face close to hers. "I don't mean to contradict you so, but I just don't think we should risk it. I'm sorry, but it's just how I feel."

Namine felt her cheeks grow red as his warm breath fluttered across her fair face. "I, uh…" she stuttered, trying to regain her composure. "I just… I'm afraid if I leave it any longer, it'll be too late…"

"What if it's already too late?" Roxas asked quietly, doubt tainting his tone.

Namine gulped, before answering him in a small, yet determined voice. "It _won't_ be." Clearing her throat, she shook her head, her shiny locks swinging behind one shoulder. "Now, help me carry this paint up, will you?"

* * *

"Agh…" Riku groaned, rolling off Kairi's bed and grabbing at his phone which lay on her bedside table, silencing it's ringing with the press of a button.

"Hello?" he greeted groggily, sitting on the edge of Kairi's bed, smiling as she placed soft kisses on his neck. "Oh…uh, hey, Seifer. Hold on a sec." He turned to Kairi, holding up a finger as he rose and exited the room to continue his conversation. "Yeah, you were saying?"

"Just wanted to tell you we got an offer for a gig in 3 weeks; you up for it?"

Riku nodded absentmindedly, before remembering that Seifer couldn't see him. "Uh, yeah sure. Just send me the details some time."

"Will do. And, uh, how're things with Kairi?"

Riku grimaced. "Yeah, great."

"Think you guys will still be together come next year? We're counting on it!"

"Yeah, for sure. She's smitten."

"Cool, cool…she turns eighteen in February, right?"

"Yeah…but I'm not sure we need that cash, you know…I mean, Sakoshi has loads, we could just borrow it off him when the time comes."

Seifer scoffed. "Yeah, like he'll ever give it us! Come on, Riku, we need the money. How're you ever gonna pay those Cobra dudes back without it?"

"Yeah, I s'pose…I still feel a little guilty for taking it all off Kairi, though."

Seifer's tone immediately hardened. "Don't tell me you're starting to get feelings for her…Riku! You know how important this is! Don't you dare bail on me and Rai!"

Riku rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I won't, alright? Chill. You can count on me."

Seifer sighed. "I know. Sorry, man. Look, I gotta go now, see you around!"

Riku heard a click at the other end, and shoved his cell in his pocket hastily, glancing around to check that no-one had over heard. Satisfied that all was well, he headed back into the dorm room, plastering a smile on his face.

* * *

"Yeah…_Strife_…that's S-T-R-I-F-E…yeah, sure I can hold."

Sora sighed irritably as he dragged a hand through his unruly brown spikes, tapping his foot impatiently. How long did it take these people?

Casting a glance at his reflection in the mirror, he smiled to himself ruefully. "Damn hair…" he muttered amusedly.

He was startled by a sudden knock at his door; his eyes widened and he immediately pressed the end button on the phone, throwing it on his desk and picking up the closest book he could find.

"Yeah?" He called out casually, opening the book and pretending to read it.

"It's me, Dad. Can I come in?"

Sora rolled his eyes. "Sure, sure."

He didn't turn to the door when he heard it click open; didn't turn to his dad when he felt him take a seat at the end of his bed.

"Sora…can I talk to you?"

Sora shrugged. "Yeah, go for it."

"Uh…about what you found out the other night," Cloud began hesitantly, "Please, don't hate me for it. It was a long time ago, okay? It didn't mean anything."

"Then why did you do it?" Sora replied harshly.

Cloud shrugged sheepishly. "I…I honestly don't know, son. I guess I – I needed a change. A break. And she was willing to provide that."

"Who…who was it?" Sora asked quietly, rage still enveloping his voice.

"Just – just some woman from a bar," Cloud assured guiltily. "We never spoke after it happened, never kept in touch, never _nothing._"

"But did you want to?"

Cloud looked taken aback by his son's statement. "_What?_ Sora, of course not! I _love_ your mother greatly…always have, always will!"

Sora scoffed. "Dad, nothing you say is going to make it alright. The fact is that you cheated on Mom. That's unforgivable."

"Well, obviously not! Aerith chose to forgive me…maybe you should, too!"

"Yeah, you wish," Sora muttered coldly.

Cloud sighed. "Okay, I think I'd best leave you for now, then…let you cool down a bit." He stood, his blue eyes stormy, casting a pleading look to his son before heading to the door.

"Wait!" Sora called out, regaining Cloud's attention. "Uh…what was her name?"

Cloud deliberated. "…Elena," he muttered unwillingly, "Elena Matsuo." He then proceeded to exit the room, slamming the door behind him in a rather childish manner.

Sora sniggered, storing the name in his memory. Moments later, the door opened again and Cloud peeked around. "Uh…just wondering, why is it that you're reading the dictionary?"

Sora threw the book in his hands a glance, laughing sheepishly. "Uh…ah, I was just looking up the definition of trust. I advise you do, too."

Cloud glowered. "Are you _ever_ going to let this go, Sora?"

Sora shrugged innocently. "Probably not. I mean, you said it yourself – I might have a _brother_. The likelihood of that being true being higher than the chance of it being false."

Cloud sighed. "Yes, Sora, I know…and I understand how big a deal that is, really, I do. But I'm asking you to understand me…man to man." Upon receiving no response from Sora, Cloud shut his eyes momentarily, inching towards the hallway again. "Sora…just, please don't do anything reckless."

Sora scoffed, eyeing the closed door with distaste. Hearing his phone vibrate on the desk, he pulled himself off his bed and reached over to answer.

"Hello?" he asked curiously, having not bothered to check caller ID.

"_Sora!_" he heard Namine's high-pitched voice squeal from the other end. "_Where _are_ you? Roxas was here half an hour ago! You're late!"_

Sora rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know, sorry. Look, I've just got a few things to sort out, I'll be over as soon as I can, 'k?"

He smiled inwardly at the pout he was sure was on Namine's face. "_Okay…fine. But hurry!"_

Hearing the phone click to signify her hanging up, he immediately took the opportunity to redial the number he had called mere minutes ago.

"Hi…this is Sora Strife…I called about 5 minutes ago? Yeah…I have a new name…got anything for Matsuo?"

* * *

Kairi gaped at the text message highlighted on her phone. "Two weeks! Namine is coming in _two weeks_!"

Riku chuckled. "Calm down, Kairi. That's plenty of time!"

Kairi scoffed. "No, it's really not. I mean…I have two weeks to prepare to see my long lost sister again after not having contact for two years!"

"So?" Riku laughed. "Come on, Kai, what does it really matter?"

Kairi froze for a moment. "Did you just call me 'Kai'"? she asked tersely, avoiding his gaze.

Riku nodded in response, smirking. "Uh, yeah. Dunno why I never thought of that before. Kai," he repeated, grinning. "I like it."

"Well, I don't!" Kairi shot back hastily, hugging her arms together.

Riku frowned at his girlfriend, forehead creasing in confusion. "Um…okay. Why you getting so stressed out over it? It's just a nickname…"

"No, it's not," Kairi muttered under hear breath, in such a small voice that Riku barely heard it. But he did, and it caused his frown to deepen.

Choosing to ignore the comment, for fear of uprooting any more of the redheads past, Riku quickly moved on with the conversation.

"Okay, _Kairi_, as I was saying, what does it really matter if Namine's coming back? Just treat her as you would any other stranger. She's the one who's in the wrong – who didn't bother contacting you for so long. You have every right to hate her guts."

Kairi considered. "I suppose so…" she began slowly. "But, she's still my sister. And therefore one half of me. I can't ignore that…"

Riku sighed. "Yeah, you can. You can do anything if you want to! Kairi, she's part of the past that you worked so hard to forget…and now that you've finally started your new life, there's no way you can let her ruin that for you. That wouldn't be fair."

"Sounds like you're scared she'll steal me away," Kairi teased lightly, poking Riku in the chest.

His expression hardened. "I just don't want to see you hurt. Kairi, you should have seen yourself when you first cam here, before you and I even knew each other. You were a mere broken shell of a girl…it tortured me to see you like that, for some reason." He shrugged. "But then, after you and I started dating, you seemed to come back together again; like I was the glue that stuck all the broken pieces together again." He grinned cockily at his creative metaphor, causing Kairi to giggle even though her innards were in turmoil.

"Was I really that bad?" she whispered, fiddling with a strand of her silky hair. Riku nodded sadly, placing an arm around her and pulling her closer to himself. "So why…why did you bother with me?"

Riku's aqua eyes softened, gazing steadily into Kairi's own violet orbs. "Because I could see past that mess; I could see the girl who you could be…the girl you are now."

Kairi blushed lightly. "Thanks, Riku…" she spoke softly, "You always know how to make me smile."

He chuckled awkwardly, squeezing her gently. "Ah…I hate to see you sad."

"Mmm," Kairi murmured appreciatively. Looking up at him, she placed a light peck on his cheek. "You're the best boyfriend ever, you know that?"

Clearing his throat nervously, Riku returned the soft kiss atop her auburn locks, saying nothing as his aqua eyes darted around the room guiltily.

* * *

Sora sighed. "Are we done yet?"

Roxas nodded in agreement, setting the large paintbrush to one side as he rolled up the sleeves of his paint splattered blue shirt.

"Nearly!", Namine chirped in reply. "Now we just need to paint the skirting boards with that white, and then we're done for now!"

"For now?" Sora asked skeptically, arching an eyebrow. "You mean there's more?"

"Well, of course," Namine replied in amusement, rolling her eyes as if she spoke the obvious. "We've only done the first layer…tomorrow we have to do another one!"

Sora and Roxas groaned simultaneously, their hearts sinking at the prospect of spending another ten hours painting.

"Why are we even doing this?" Sora queried. "I mean, no-one ever stays in your guest room anyway, so that's pointless. And what if the baby's a boy? That means you'll have to repaint the room. And you only just found out…isn't it a bit early anyway?"

Namine shrugged. "Uh…well, for the guest room, it was starting to look a little tatty, so yeah…"

Roxas cleared his throat. "Although no-one's going to stay there anyway, _right_ Namine?" he grinded out.

Namine glared. "Who knows?" she replied through gritted teeth. "The future's an unexpected place…"

Sora watched their transaction in confusion, wondering what the hell they were talking about.

"Um…okay?" he interrupted. "Namine, you were saying…?"

"Oh! Yeah, and as for the baby…I just have a feeling it'll be a girl. And it's never too early! I don't want to have to be painting it when the baby's around, it'll be too much hassle!" Namine reasoned.

Sora shrugged, allowing it to pass. "Sure, sure, whatever you say," he replied absentmindedly. "Look, I gotta go now, I'm expecting a call soon, I don't want to miss it."

"Who's calling?" Namine asked casually, unable to keep all of the curiosity from her tone.

Sora pulled a face. "Oh, just some people…it's not important," he dismissed. "Well…I'll see you guys tomorrow then?"

Namine nodded happily, not bothering to pursue her questions further; she knew that if Sora wanted to keep something to himself, there was no persuading him out of it. Even though Dr Moon had helped make him much more open, he still kept his true feelings mostly hidden.

"Alright then, see you," Roxas said, wiping his hands on his splattered trousers so he could clap hands with Sora. "Have a nice…um, phone conversation?"

Sora chuckled. "Will do. Take care, Rox, see you soon."

He threw the pair remaining a quick smile, before turning to head out of the white room. Upon hearing a small throat clear behind him, he stopped in his tracks and turned to face Namine, eyebrows raised.

"What?" he asked self-consciously, uncomfortable under the gaze she had him under.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked innocently.

Sora slumped to one side, smirking as he rolled his eyes. "How could I forget?" he muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes as he sauntered towards the flaxen girl.

Stopping before her, he smiled sweetly, placing his arms on her shoulders as he gazed into her blue eyes. "Good night and sleep well. I'll miss you, and my dreams will be filled only with thoughts of you."

That said, he leant forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips, before turning and walking out of the room, Namine smiling blissfully in the foreground, whilst Roxas stood in the growing shadows, heart thudding as he glowered in envy.

* * *

An impatient Sora trudged around his room, casting frequent glances at his cell phone that lay immobile on the desk. Every time there was so much as a creak in the house he jumped, only to be disappointed and resume his trudging once more.

And then when the piercing wail of his ringtone finally _did_ blare out of his cell, he could barely believe it. He was sure it would be Namine or Roxas or someone; but upon glancing at the Caller ID and seeing it read 'Private Number', his anxieties were reassured.

"Hello? Sora speaking," he said breathlessly, clutching the phone close to his ear.

"Hello there, this is Mrs. Tamakaya, we were speaking a few days ago?" Sora confirmed this; it had been torture going to Namine's house everyday and painting the same old walls over and over whilst impatiently waiting to find out of he and his sister Yuna did indeed have a half-brother. But now, three days later, the call had finally come.

"Our search did indeed come up with results…it seems that a certain Elena Matsuo had a son around nineteen years ago; Father's name is Cloud Strife. Ring any bells?"

"Yes," Sora whispered, in shock that it was actually true. "He's my dad…"

There was a pause. "Ah. Well that's…interesting, to say the least. However, the son is no longer living with his Mother, regretfully, she died two years ago. He now resides with his step-father, Sakoshi, at Radiant Gardens, in an area…"

Sora listened with numb ears as he took in all the information she was giving him. He had a brother. Well, a half-brother. Cloud had another son. Cloud had cheated on Aerith. Giving him a son. A son that was born around two years before Sora even existed.

As Sora scribbled down the details Mrs. Tamayaka was giving him, the foundations of a plan began forming in his mind.

As he explained his plans to Namine three days later, she instantly protested.

"You're going to Radiant Gardens? But _why?_"

Sora shrugged. "Some business I need to take care of there," he answered vaguely.

"What _sort_ of business…?" Namine wondered tentatively, afraid that it may be something to do with her sister.

"Some family stuff," he explained honestly, his blue eyes sincere.

Namine searched for any hints of a lie, but found none. "Oh…okay. I thought it was something to do with…"

"With what?" Sora asked sharply; Namine winced at his tone.

"N-never mind," she dismissed. "But, well, I was thinking of heading down there in a few weeks time, I was going to surprise you…why not come with me then?"

Sora immediately shook his head. "No…sorry. This is something that can't wait. And also, I want to do it alone."

Namine hesitated. "Sora…you know you can tell me, right?"

Sora nodded innocently. "Yeah! This just sort of isn't really my secret to tell…just some of my family's past being uprooted…don't worry about it Nami, okay?"

Namine gave a small smile. "Okay," she whispered, leaning in to hug him.

* * *

"Riku!" Sakoshi called out, attracting said boy's attention. "I want to talk to you about something."

"Yeah, what?" Riku asked, sauntering into the office and flopping himself casually into an armchair.

"You know how you were produced through a fling your Mom had with some guy?" Riku nodded, smirking as he remembered how he had edited that story when telling others of his parents. "Well, turns out that guy is married now…and his son's found out about you. He's looking for you…and he knows where you are."

Riku raised an eyebrow. "Well…this should be interesting. Tell me more…"

* * *

"That was nice," Kairi murmured, snuggling into Riku's arms. They lay intertwined on Riku's grand bed, Riku being topless and Kairi wearing Riku's shirt and her underwear and not much else.

"Mmm," Riku agreed, tightening his grip on Kairi, at the same time eyeing the clock with amusement. "Sure was."

Kairi propped herself onto her elbows. "I know you're probably annoyed that I don't want to go all the way…sorry about that. I just…I want to wait until I'm completely ready."

"It's okay," Riku reassured, "I totally understand."

Kairi smiled and hugged him closer.

They lay there together for a few more minutes, basking in their lust, before the silence was interrupted by Riku, quickly popping into the bathroom.

As Kairi lay peacefully, a knock on the door broke her thoughts; glancing around for Riku, she shrugged and rose to go and answer the door, thinking that it was probably Double-K anyway.

Not bothering to throw on any more clothes, as only close friends ever came to Riku's, she threw the open door, expecting to find her blonde friend standing there.

But instead, she came face to face with a pair of _very_ familiar blue eyes.

* * *

**End of chapter 6!**

Sorry for the crapness. Severe case of writers block here. I just have like no inspiration for this story right now. How annoying D:

Please make my day with your lovely **reviews** though :D I want my motivation back! Because I really want to get going with this story, and you guys can really help me with that…seriously, the amount of reviews I've already got have made me _so_ happy. I love you all more than you know.

So, it would be delightful to know that this has actually been worth it…please, spare 30 seconds of your time for me!

You rock my world.

And sorry to anyone who I owe a reply…you have no idea how busy I've been; how is it possible that Ive only been back at school for like 1 week and I'm overloaded with homework and tests? It's injustice, I tell you. But yeah, I promise you, I **will**get round to it this weekend…pinky promise :)


	8. Mind Games

**BROKEN SILHOUETTES**

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters; only the storyline

**Authors Note:** Oh. My. Freaking. God. Long-ass wait for this update, I know. But jeez, keeping three stories going at once is hard! But yeah…sorry T_T Won't happen again! Anywho, everyone excited about the first Sokai action for a couple gazillion years? Yes? Everyone want me to shut up so they can just go and bloody well read said Sokai? Yes? Very well then…enjoy ^^

Sorry for any spelling errors, to lazy to fix right now T_T"

**Thanks so much to all who reviewed! You rock hard at life! :]

* * *

**

***

_As Kairi lay peacefully, a knock on the door broke her thoughts; glancing around for Riku, she shrugged and rose to go and answer the door, thinking that it was probably Double-K anyway._

_Not bothering to throw on any more clothes, as only close friends ever came to Riku's, she threw the open door, expecting to find her blonde friend standing there._

_But instead, she came face to face with a pair of __very__ familiar blue eyes._

***

**Chapter 7: Mind Games**

All she could do was stare.

A thousand different emotions ran through her as she looked into those eyes, and a thousand different things happened all at once.

Her whole life as she knew it shattered into a million shards, scattering into the dark corners of her mind where she knew she'd never be able to recover them.

Somewhere inside her heart, all those hidden fragments she'd thought she'd lost somehow picked themselves up again and danced with clumsy feet around her head, sending all other thoughts into a silent haze.

Those silent thoughts ran circles round and round her head, each one undistinguishable from the next, each one as insignificant as the next.

And still all she could do was stare.

Her eyes itched to break free of the trance they were locked in, to explore this unfamiliar yet oh so memorable sight with a new gaze, to update all those visions that had only now resurfaced in her mind.

But it was as if her violet orbs were transfixed in this mesmerizing game of tug of war, each party fighting and fighting to reach inside the hidden depths of the others soul, to discover what they could once see so clearly.

Now was not the time for games, Kairi thought; but then, she had always been a very competitive person.

And so she refused to break the eye contact; refused to give in to the seductive urges that were tempting her gaze to look elsewhere. But she had to admit: it was hard.

Not that looking into those cerulean crystals wasn't appealing, though. Oh, it was like a long, overdue heaven to her. For too long had she lingered in her limbo. That cobalt blue, those ocean eyes that lapped gentle waves against her heart, the hidden dark depths beckoning to her seductively, that endless abyss of memories and friendship and –

"Kairi."

All that effort, all those moments wasted being her usual stubborn self – ruined, by a mere word. A word that sent tremors running through her, a word that sent those already wild thoughts into a frantic beat, ravaging at scattered memories.

Kairi. Kairi. Kairi.

That one word repeating itself over and over, pulsing in sync with her enlightened heart, etching its way through the healed scars around her memory.

"Kairi."

But wait; this one sounded different, strange; wrong, somehow. Instead of giving her that amazing sensation of freedom and flight, it merely broke through the other pulse with its harsh sound, slowly bringing her back to reality.

But what was her reality? Everything that she had known; gone. For if her mind was being truthful, and what she was seeing wasn't merely some illusion, then nothing would ever be the same anymore. Once, already, had she been forced to lock away her past; not a chance that she could do it again.

Before she was fully thrust into the confusing game of reality, those spinning emotions became clearer: one more prominent now than the rest.

Anger.

"Kairi, snap out of it!"

Bang. Game Over. New Game. But why couldn't she just reload a saved file? Why did she have to restart every single time? How was that fair?

Maybe because there was nothing worth saving.

"Seriously, Kairi, quit being an idiot!"

"What?!"

Her own voice sounded foreign to her ears, as if she had accidentally chosen to play as the wrong character. Everything about her felt wrong, somehow, as if she was seeing the world through different eyes but was still trapped in her old, disused body. Nothing _fit_.

She glared for a few moments at the irritating silver haired boy that stood beside her, one arm on her shoulder. Her eyes watched with distaste as he smirked and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer.

How had she never noticed the cruel intention of his features anymore? How had she been blind to that evil screen surrounding those aqua eyes?

Oh yeah. She thought it was _mysterious_.

But had her skin cells changed to? His touch used to be so soft, so comforting, so pleasant and warm. Now, she found it impossible to ignore the cold arrows it rained against her skin, sending icy shudders through to her heart.

What the hell could have changed so much in 10 seconds?

She found the answer right in front of her, literally before her eyes as soon as she turned away from her boyfriend with an unexpected shiver. An answer so expected and yet still so surprising that she didn't quite know what to make of it.

For a few moments, nobody spoke. Those few moments were all it took for Kairi to entirely take in the whole of his appearance, every last detail storing itself in her mind. Unintentionally, _of course_.

Not much had changed. Those sky blue eyes, as wide and bright as always; those unruly spikes of untamed chocolate hair as messy as always, if slightly lighter in tone; that tanned, unflawed skin in all it's glowing perfection; and those oh so familiar, soft lips, expressing his whole shock at the situation, parted in a similar way to hers…

"It's really you…?" The lips moved, and out flowed the addictive music that sang passion and hatred to her ears. She yearned for more, and yet at the same now wanted nothing more than to reach up and clamp her ears shut, blocking out all foreign sounds that trespassed in her guarded ears.

She gulped, swallowing back the unfamiliar lump that had pushed it's way into her throat. "Yeah," she replied tightly, her voice strained, her eyes darting. "It's me."

Again those lips moved, and she found herself forcing her body to keep restrained; she wasn't sure _what_, or _why_, but something was tearing her up inside and pulling her body out of her control.

"Well…isn't this an interesting situation?" Riku stated, a smirk gracing his features. A strange noise, somewhat between a giggle and a sob, escaped Kairi's lips and she found herself biting them together in order to keep quiet.

As the reality of the situation began to sink in, an unfamiliar sense of elation fell upon Kairi. "Sora…?" she whispered, feeling the alien taste of the word on her lips, and relishing in its sweet flavour.

A small smile was planted on her lips as she took in his presence; his real, physical presence. The anger in her began to seep out and the smile grew with the happiness in her.

She couldn't take her eyes off him. She watched as he too observed her, his cobalt eyes wide and staring. She watched his missed features merge to form different expressions: happy, surprised, shocked, disgusted?

This latter emotion was unexpected; Kairi analysed his face in detail, trying to work out the cause for the sudden knot in his eyebrows, tightening of lips, crease in his forehead…and as Riku once again tightened his grip on her, she suddenly realised.

_Of course!_ How could she have been so stupid as to forget that she wasn't exactly dressed appropriately for the public…and not only that, but she was standing in the doorway of her older boyfriend's room.

Oh, yeah. _Great_ first impression.

And this embarrassing realisation brought about the question as to why Sora had come to _Riku's_ doorway: it didn't make sense that he was looking for him, but then how could he have known that Kairi would be there?

But Riku decided to take hold of the reigns and as usual, pulled everyone around to look at him.

"So, Sora," he began conversationally, "I've been expecting you."

Sora's eyes widened; Kairi's jaw dropped. "You have?" Sora replied curiously, his tone laced with surprise. "H-how did you know?"

Riku shrugged. "I have my ways."

And all the while, Kairi looked between the two, feeling a sudden wave of rejection at the realisation that Sora had in fact never come for her; but for _Riku_.

Trying as hard as she could to ignore the fact that it was _Sora_ standing right there in front of her, so close she could reach out and touch him, Kairi turned to face Riku, her expression incredulous. "What the hell is going on?"

Riku smirked again, shrugging as he motioned towards to brunette. "Why not ask Sora over here?"

Kairi dragged her eyes over to Sora's, who was looking right back at her with such an intense mix of emotions that she found it almost painful. Embarrassed, she dropped her gaze and fiddled nervously with her fingers.

"I'm not the only one with some explaining to do," Sora muttered coldly, face turned away in disgust. Kairi's eyes widened as she looked up at him, a flash of hurt streaking across her usually so composed face.

This hurt was replaced with the anger she had earlier felt. Anger at the world for upturning her whole life with something so, so – _simple_. Why did he have to come back _now_ of all times? _Now_ when she had just found some new? Why did he have to ruin everything that she had built? Who gave _him_ the power to destroy a life with his mere presence?

"Shut up!" she hissed suddenly, her fists balling up. "What do you know? You think you can just waltz back into my life like this…well you can't! Stop pretending like you know how things are when you _don't_! You don't know _anything_!"

She felt hot angry tears sting at her fiery eyes, but she refused to let them escape. Shooting one last angry glance at Sora, whose face was hidden, she spun round and flung herself into the room, slamming the door shut behind her.

Leaning against the door, she let out deep angry breaths, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she let herself slide down to a crouch on the floor.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…" she muttered irritatingly to herself, slowly hitting the back of her head against the door. Now that she was alone, she felt those tears prick harshly at her eyes; she rubbed them forcefully, refusing to cry over a stupid boy.

Her insides were in turmoil; she hated how he still seemed to have this affect on her, and all it took was his presence. She hated that going on with life normally after seeing him was an impossibility. She hated the unpredictability he brought, the untrusting sense she got of her feelings…how come everything felt so wrong, and yet at the same time so right?

She let a sigh escape her lips, resting her head gently against the doorframe now. Closing her eyes, she worked on soothing her angry breaths, inhaling softly.

Through this process, her ears managed to pick up the sound of the two boys talking quietly outside. Ears pricking in interest, she turned herself to face the door, pressing her ears against it.

"_…so what exactly did you come here for then?_" she heard Riku ask; the smirk on his face was evident through his tone.

"_I dunno…just wanted to meet you, I guess. It felt weird to know about you and yet never have met you in person,_" came Sora's reply. Kairi scrunched her eyebrows in confusion; what in destiny were they talking about? How the hell did Sora and Riku know of each other?

"_Well, here, you've met me. You can go now. Nobody wants you here; especially not her._"

Kairi's eyes narrowed. She didn't particularly like being referred to as 'her', thank you very much. And who was he to decide who she could or couldn't see? She made a mental note to have a word with Riku later. Pushing these thoughts aside, she pressed her head closer, eager to hear Sora's reply, her curiosity overwhelming her.

Sora scoffed; Kairi could picture him winding his hands around the back of his head; it had always been a habit of his. "_Oh yeah? And how would you know? You've only known her for what, two years? I've kinda known her my whole life. Beat that._"

For some strange reason, Kairi felt her heart glow as she heard Sora stick up for her. She had wanted nothing more than to jump up and strangle Riku at his previous words, but Sora had caused that violent desire to fade.

"_Oh, you must be so proud!_" Riku scoffed sarcastically. "_But let me just remind you of something, shall I? Who was the one who ditched her and ignored her for two years? Oh yeah…I think that would be _you."

And there it was; that one simple reason and that previous anger returned. Riku was right; who the hell gave that stupid hedgehog the right to just waltz back as if everything was the same, when it evidently _wasn't_?

"_Shut up_," she heard Sora mutter darkly in reply. "_You don't know what you're talking about._"

"_Oh, well why don't you tell me then? Tell me why you thought it would be okay to ignore her calls, texts, emails? To make no contact? To break her heart?_"

There was a moment of silence that beat it's powerful wings at Kairi; she swallowed, unsure if she wanted to hear his answer.

"_I didn't – I couldn't…"_

And that was enough to help her make her decision; no, she didn't want to hear his answer. To listen to whatever pathetic excuse he would make on the spot. To hear why he completely forgot about her and her feelings and their promise.

A promise that had actually been put back into motion now, she realised. And this realisation came with a bitter taste; why give her everything she had been dreaming of 2two years after she had initially dreamed it?

And so Kairi pushed herself from the floor forcefully, flinging herself across the room and to the bathroom, where she locked herself, breathing heavily.

_Why, why, why? _Endless unanswerable questions ran through her mind, putting her thoughts in turmoil. She wrapped her arms around her head as she sank to the floor, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, blocking out the reality she was engulfed in.

What was this? This aching, pain in her chest that she couldn't quite identify, but recognized instantly from years before. How familiar it was, yet at the same time so unknown. She had forgotten how much it _hurt_, how literal it was.

She hated it. Hated it with a burning passion that intensified with each shallow breath she drew in. Hated herself, hated him, and hated life. Stupid life which never seemed to go as planned. Stupid life which flung her in too many different directions until she had no control of the reigns whatsoever and no idea of where she was or who she was.

But what was that other strange glow hidden behind her eyes? That strange sense of elation that she also sort of recognized? That feeling which brought one very prominent memory to the front of her mind…

_No_. No more thinking about the past. About the stupid past that was _gone_, left behind, forgotten.

_But_, Kairi thought curiously, _why push it away when it had just pushed its way back in? _And not just back into her mind; back into her actual reality. Shouldn't she embrace it then? Because it was her present now; it was her life. If she couldn't accept it, where would she be?

For no longer did she allow herself to live in the past; she had learnt to stop doing that long ago. But then now her present was just like that, just like a ghost coming in and disrupting it all. And she didn't like that. She didn't like the chaos that collision would bring. But then, her future was no place for her to dwell either. A future that was no entirely out of her hands; a future where she had no idea of what to expect. Would it be with him, without him…?

And oh, how she hated that no matter what direction she took now, he would be there. He walked all paths, and she had no idea of how to escape him. And worst of all, she had no idea whether she wanted to escape him.

She had spent so longer preparing herself for this moment, and she had really thought that she had gotten to the point where seeing him would be no big deal. Where she would be able to control herself and her thoughts.

Oh, how wrong she had been. She was in deeper than she had ever thought.

She thought she had gotten rid of those feelings. Not just hidden them in a dark, unused corner of her heart; but literally thrown them out and locked the doors to her mind. It appeared she had been quite mistaken; the feelings seemed to have lingered, and instead of her new life replacing them, it had rather concealed them, deluding her mind.

One question stood prominent against the tangle of 'why's' and 'how's', and that question was 'what'? What to do next? What to do about that stupid brunette porcupine that was stood not just in the same town as her, but _in the same building_.

She could ignore him. Ignore him just like he had spent so long doing. Ignore his presence and merely resume life as normal until he went away again.

_But is that what I really want?_ Kairi thought to herself, doubted. For doing so would just be a step down for her; doing exactly what she hated, exactly what had made her so miserable over the past 2 years. Did she really want to inflict that sort of pain upon someone, no matter how much pain they had caused her?

No, was the answer. And anyway; she wasn't a coward. She wasn't one to run away as soon as the going got tough. She was determined to tough it out, to get past the temporary obstacle. For now that he had tainted all her past, present and future, there was no way to truly escape him.

She might as well embrace him.

And as the thought of holding him in her arms as she had once done so lightly, that strange knot in her throat pushed it's way up, the hot liquid tears at her eyes pooling out in ribbons down her pale face.

"Sora…" she whispered faintly to herself, testing the name on her lips, pressing her lips together and clenching her hands together, heart drumming in her chest. If she was going to survive his presence, she'd need to learn how to say his name without feeling like fainting.

"Sora," she repeated, her voice slightly stronger, less shaky, but with all that same emotion hidden behind that one word. "Sora, Sora, Sora, Sora…"

It was getting better. She could actually say it coherently now, without sounding like she had some strange form of laryngitis, or some phobia of speaking. Maybe this wouldn't be as hard as she had thought.

"Sora," she continued, triumphant at her achievement, her voice getting louder and stronger and louder and stronger. "Sora. Sora. Sora. Sora!"

"What?"

A cold breath of air suddenly rushed through Kairi, turning her to ice, her posture remaining fixed in a look of shock, horror, embarrassment and anger. Feeling the air leak out of her lungs, she fought to keep her eyes away from the doorway where she knew she would find _him._

For that velvet voice had once again sent her insides alight with a passionate fire, sending her heart into a drilling beat that intensified with each passing moment of silence.

And that fire inside of her slowly started to melt away the ice that had blanketed her skin, her senses moving back into motion, colour suddenly rushing to her skin and forcing her body to move instantaneously.

"Sora!" she huffed heatedly, rising to her feet and pulling at her loose shirt uncomfortably, eyes darting nervously. "Wh-what do you want?"

"Uh," he answered nonchalantly, his lips twitching at one corner to form a crooked smile, "You called me?"

"I did not!" Kairi protested immediately, folding her arms across her chest and marching around Sora, who was leant against the doorframe of the bathroom.

"Then why were you saying my name so much?" Sora wondered, looking at her curiously, his encapsulating gaze managing to break through and penetrating hers, keeping it locked in position.

"Um…" she stuttered, all coherent thoughts surging from her mind in an instant, her violet orbs locked onto his cobalt ones, the breath being knocked out of her; how was she ever supposed to grow used to looking into those oh so amazing eyes?

"Yes, Kairi," a cold voice intruded, ordering her gaze to tear away from Sora's, "Why _were_ you saying _his_ name?"

Kairi's disappointed gaze now fell upon Riku, standing in the centre of the room, disapproval plastered across his tight features. His posture was stiff, and Kairi couldn't help but compare how contrary it was to Sora's.

"Oh…I – I was just, you know…" she stammered, fixing her eyes upon a spot on the wall. "I was just…"

"Just _what_?" Riku persisted, his lips pressed into a thin line.

Kairi shrugged feebly, her long slender fingers fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "I was just practising…" she whispered numbly, trying very hard to ignore the incisive gaze she could feel upon her back.

"Freaking hell," Riku muttered darkly, "He's been here five minutes and already you're trying to get it on with him."

"_No,_ Riku!" Kairi flared up angrily, raising her eyes to glare at the pale boy, "I was just saying his name, _okay?_ It didn't mean anything! Stop being so bloody defensive, already! You know you're my boyfriend!"

As the words slipped out of her lips, Kairi immediately regretted them. She hadn't meant it in that way at all; the reason she had spoken up with such anger was because of the sudden compulsive urge she had gotten to defend Sora. But with her wording, it sounded more like she was defending herself, and even Riku.

Great. Now Sora would think she was a selfish, cold-hearted bitch.

But Riku seemed to be appeased. _Fantastic_. Just the person she had been aiming for. He smirked confidently, running a hand through his silver hair.

"Whatever you say, babe," he replied jeeringly, his gaze flicking to the boy who stood behind her. "You're right; I _am_ your boyfriend."

Kairi sighed, jutting her lip out in disapproval, eyes narrowing at her boyfriend who could only smirk in reply. Rolling her eyes, she summoned her guts and twisted around to face Sora, who stood obediently where she had left him.

…albeit, with a _slightly_ less cheerful demeanour.

His icy glare knocked all breath out of her; what had she done to deserve such hatred directed towards her? He was the one who had come back without warning after two freaking years!

"Uh…Sora?" she stuttered, biting her lips nervously; as she spoke, she realised she may need more practise; the name still fell out in a sort of alien squeak, sending those same tremors through her captivated body.

She received no reply; he resumed to glower onwards frostily, his usually warm eyes piercing. She shuffled uncomfortably, shifting from foot to foot as she pondered upon what to do next.

Oh, how she detested this confusion! How much easier life had been where every step was simple, requiring no particular thought. And already, five minutes into this tricky new game of reality, she found herself balancing on a knife edge where particular attention and thought was vital to every new movement she may or may not make.

Shutting her eyes briefly to block out the hazardous images and gain a clearer perspective, she spoke up lightly, directing her speech at Riku.

"Could you leave us alone for a moment please?"

But both Sora and Riku seemed to have mistaken her meaning; Sora instantly moved to walk past her, head hung low, cold expression fixed upon his face. Riku stepped to one side, holding out his arms towards the door.

"No," Kairi shook her head immediately, automatically reaching out with one hand, before abruptly placing it to her side. "No," she repeated. "I meant…I meant could Riku please leave for a moment?"

There was a moment of confused clarity; Sora stopped hesitantly, one foot hovering above the floor in deliberation; Riku turned to face Kairi, raising one eyebrow as he brought his arms back down.

"What?" Both boys asked in unison, for once the same expression plastered upon their faces; Kairi didn't allow her gaze to linger upon Sora for anymore than 1 second, though, keeping her eyes fixed onto Riku's.

"Just for a minute, please," she repeated, a sense of underlying final authority lining her tone. She cocked her head to one side, raising an eyebrow as she placed her hands on her hips. "Well?"

A flash of irritation swept across Riku's face, before being replaced with that familiar trademark smirk. "Sure thing, babe," he purred in reply, sidling up to her as he snaked his hands around her thin waist. Kairi stiffened, leaning away from his touch, a feat which Riku either didn't notice or chose to ignore; Kairi had a feeling it was the latter. "Goodbye kiss, though?"

Kairi sighed, turning her face away from his by a fraction; she knew he was only doing this because Sora was there, but she didn't want to give said boy the satisfaction of knowing that he had changed her feelings for her boyfriend so.

Cringing inwardly, she turned back to Riku, plastering a smile on her lips before leaning forward to peck him lightly. She widened her eyes in surprise as Riku wound a hand through her hair, pulling her lips against his into a much more forceful kiss.

She at first protested, reaching out to remove Riku's hand, before realising what a cowardly thing that would be to do; instead, she leant into the kiss, wrapping her own arms around his neck as she one used to do with such passion; now, it felt nothing less than dirty and disgusting.

It was as if Sora had brought back the part of her that she had left behind; the part that actually made _sense_. And she wasn't quite sure whether this was a good thing or not.

Eyes closing, out of comfort more than anything, she suddenly wished she had eyes on the back of her head; she was dying to know what Sora's reaction was.

But then irritation pulsed through her as she felt Riku's hands snake their way lower down her back; eyes snapping open, she immediately pulled away, glaring.

"_Riku_," she hissed sharply, wiping her lips. "That's quite enough."

Riku shrugged, still smirking as his eyes wandered. "Alright. See you in a bit. I'll be waiting for you in your room, _Kai_."

Kairi exhaled sharply at his tainted use of her nickname; he _knew_ that it had something to do with Sora; why was it that he felt so threatened by this boy that he would stoop to such low measures that would hurt even her?

Oh, yeah. The whole drunken 'I love Sora' thing. Whatever.

As he brushed across the room to the door, he turned to Sora, smirking. "Don't get too excited, bro," he commented sarcastically, before turning to shut the door loudly behind himself.

Kairi sighed thankfully, a wave of relief rushing through her, running a hand through her tangled mess of red hair. But since when did Riku call people 'bro'? Kairi assumed it must have been some name he had picked up from the boys.

And then, taking a deep breath, swallowing the huge lump that had pushed it's way into her throat, Kairi slowly turned to face Sora, eyes squeezed shut, unaware of what to expect.

There were a few moments of silence, filled only by Kairi's ragged breaths; as she willed her eyes to open, she tried to prepare herself for what she might see. Would he be smiling? Frowning? Glaring? Would he even be there at all? Oh, God, what if he had had enough of the whole thing and just -?

Her latest worried queries were easily resolved by his calm, quiet voice, echoing heavenly in her ears.

"Are you ever going to look at me?" he asked, his musical voice low and musing, singing bliss to her soul.

Kairi nodded, her reactions coming slowly and yet in sharp, ragged jerks. Biting her lip, she raised her head and tried to picture him standing there, with his arms folded behind his head like he always used to, blue eyes bright and twinkling, small crooked smile perched on his lips…

Two years she had dreamt of seeing him like that again. Two years she had pictured his face over and over and over. And now, he was here. So instead of wasting time, it would be most practical to make the most of every second, right?

And so she snapped open her violet orbs, which instantly drew themselves to his own blue ones, as if there was some unique sort of magnetic attraction between them.

But she quickly found that those eyes were not twinkling, and that mouth wasn't smiling, and that posture wasn't relaxed. Quite the opposite, in fact.

His eyes were stormy and narrow, glaring at her through slits. His hands were balled into fists tightly by his side, and his mouth pressed into a thin line. How did this image match that soothing voice she had heard mere moments ago?

"S-Sora?" she stammered out, confusion etching her features.

Sora shook his head slightly, exhaling sharply. "You've changed…" he said lowly after a few moments.

Kairi raised an eyebrow; really, what did he expect? That she was exactly the same as she had been two years ago? News flash: she wasn't the only one who had changed!

"Yeah?" she retorted snappily, own eyes narrowing, "What did you expect? It's been two years! I'm not the naïve fifteen year old I was back then."

"I know that!" Sora replied immediately, anger tainting his tone. "I _know_. Nor am I. I just didn't expect you to turn into such a – such a…" he wavered off, wrinkling his nose as he gestured towards her with an arm, "Such a _slut_!"

Kairi felt her mouth drop to the ground in astonishment. _What_ did he just call her? Who did he think he was, judging her by appearance? He had become exactly the sort of person they had always used to detest.

"E-excuse me?" she choked, reeling in anger. "_What_ did you just say?"

"Slut," Sora repeated, "Would you like me to explain to you what one is?"

Kairi ground her teeth together in frustration, her forehead creasing as she clenched her fists tightly, knuckles turning white.

"I am _not_ a slut," she growled slowly, breathing deeply.

"Oh yeah? Then why are you wearing nothing but your – your _boyfriend's_ shirt and some underwear? In his room? Care to explain?" Sora queried, his tone smothered with distaste.

Kairi rolled her eyes, dragging her hands through her long auburn hair, sighing. "Look, Sora," she began, her voice slow and clear, "Please, _don't_ make the mistake of judging me like you just did. It won't get you very far, that's for sure."

Sora laughed humourlessly. "Oh, really? I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but come on! What do you expect me to think? DO you have _any_ idea of how it looks? How wrong and disgusting it looks?"

Fire rose inside the petite redhead once more as she let out a sharp gasp. "_What_ ? Even if I _was_ doing what you think – which I assure you I was _not_ – who are you to say it's wrong? I'm seventeen, for Chrissake! I'm not a kid anymore! It's been _two years_ – a lot can change in that time, you know."

Sora glanced away, eyes roaming aimlessly around the room. "I know," he replied quietly, "I just…I never expected to see you again so soon."

Kairi folded her arms across her chest jerkily, feeling a sudden wave of nausea wash through her. Her eyes fell to her feet, joining her heart and soul.

"Then why are you here?" she asked lowly, her voice a mechanical monotone that didn't seem to belong to her. She fought to uphold her composure, scared to reveal the tangle her insides were in.

Sora shrugged, sighing as he ran a hand though his unruly brunette spikes. "I – I came to see _him._ Your - your _boyfriend_. Whats-his-name."

"Riku?" Kairi clarified incredulously, returning her gaze to her old best friend, heart stuttering wildly. "W-why are you here to see _him_?"

"He's my…uh. He hasn't told you?"

Kairi shook her head slowly, arching her eyebrows. "Told me _what_?"

Sora swallowed nervously, eyes darting as he chewed his lower lip. "Um, see, _Riku_…he's kind of my -,"

A convenient interruption came in the form of a sharp rap on the door. Sora exhaled in relief; Kairi in frustration. Shooting a look at the brunette, she turned to the door impatiently, pulling it open hastily.

"Yes?"

"Um…" an elderly, frail woman stammered nervously, knuckles white as she clutched a mop in her hands, a trolley of cleaning equipment lined up behind her. "I'm here to c-clean the room?"

"Oh, right yeah," Kairi muttered nonchalantly, eyes glancing to the trolley. "Sure thing."

Wandering back into the room, Kairi waltzed over to Sora and stood facing him, merely inches away. She pushed away the excited shivers that had overcome her, silencing her thudding heart and blaming her red cheeks on her anger.

"You," she hissed menacingly, "Are coming with me!"

Grabbing him by the arm, ignoring the tingly jolt that shot through her at the contact and oblivious to his burning cheeks, Kairi pulled him out of the room and lead him through the corridors and to her own room in a silent haze.

Kairi knew Riku wouldn't actually be at her room; he had only said that to try and make Sora jealous. Fiddling with her lock, she resisted the urge to glance up at Sora every few seconds, instead attempting to clear her misted mind.

Freeing the door, she pushed it open and lead Sora inside, slamming the door behind her and throwing her keys on her desk.

She immediately went over to her closet, grabbing a pair of pink shorts and pulling them on, wrapping the shirt tighter around herself.

Done with this, she finally turned to face Sora, arms folded across her chest, face expressionless.

"Continue," she said, breaking the silence with her drone.

Sora, however, chose to ignore her. He wandered across the room to between where the two beds stood, kneeling down and reaching to pick something up off the floor. Kairi watched him in confusion, wondering what he was doing.

As he turned around, Kairi managed to catch the brief flash of hurt his face betrayed; he was quick to discard it though, replacing it with a bored expression. It seemed that Kairi wasn't the only closed book around here.

"What is it?" she asked, mimicking Sora with his feigned boredom. Said boy was silent for a few moments, gazing at whatever he held in his right hand.

Sora spoke up just as Kairi was about to repeat her statement. "You – you still have this," he said quietly. Kairi arched an eyebrow, walking over to him hesitantly.

Gulping, she peered into his open hand, eyes widening as she saw what he held. Of course. She had never picked up that thelassa shell charm that she had discarded on the floor when the dorm master had interrupted her.

"Oh….yeah," she answered casually, not wanting to make a big deal out of something she knew actually meant a whole lot more than it may have appeared to some people. "Found it lying around the other day…"

Sora chuckled lowly, hand tightening around it. "Thanks…I guess."

Kairi smirked, shrugging. "No problem, babe."

At this, Sora immediately sighed, rolling his eyes. "Don't call me 'babe'," he muttered in annoyance, throwing the star shaped charm onto the unmade bed.

Kairi gulped as guilt overwhelmed her. Guilt? Why was she feeling that? She had no reason to feel _guilty_; what had she done but call him something she called most other people? She had meant no offense; but Kairi knew that she had only done it to hide her real feelings; the real her. She was already finding it far too hard to be her real self around him.

"Sorry…" she said automatically, glancing up at him apologetically. His forehead smoothed, eyes lightening as he read the truth in her words. He nodded once in response.

There were a few moments of awkwardness in which they regarded each other silently, each taking in the others presence. They stopped, blushing, when violet found blue, meeting in a spark of electricity.

"Why are you here, Sora?" Kairi finally asked, sighing. "After two years of no contact whatsoever…why did you suddenly decide to turn up?"

Sora glanced away, biting his lip nervously. "I – I didn't mean to ignore you," he said apologetically, copying Kairi's previous tone. "Honestly, I didn't. But sometimes…well, life happens."

Kairi tilted her head to one side. "I'm not sure I understand."

Sora shook his head dismissively. "It doesn't matter. That's not important now. What is important is that…" he sighed deeply. "Is that you're here, right now. You're actually, really here…_Kairi_…"

The emotion and strength behind his words matched Kairi's exactly. Her eyes turned glassy, gazing at him with such unreadable intensity.

"I've missed you so much!" she burst out, unable to contain herself. Her body was only so big; it could only hold so many emotions. She found herself out of control, acting on impulse as her arms instinctively reached to wrap around his neck, pulling herself closer to him and inhaling that missed scent.

She half expected him to pull away, but he never did. He returned the hug with as much strength, his own strong arms winding around her small frame, burying his face atop her head.

It felt so _right_, being in his arms again. She felt as if she had been transported back to two years ago, back to the mind of that young, head over heels in love fifteen year old. Everything was bright, everything was exciting, and fresh, and new. Everything was _perfect_.

Except it wasn't.

For there was still the minor problem of something called reality. Her world and his were in two separate galaxies altogether. Yes, they had once been one, but things were different now. _Everything_ was different.

A relationship that had once been so strong and stable was now weak and vulnerable. Who was to say it would manage to survive these new conditions? There was no way she could expect things to go back to normal when _nothing_ was normal. She couldn't change time.

He was different, she was different, and their worlds were different. They were the broken pieces of a puzzle that had once made perfect sense. What if they messed it up again when trying to piece it back together? What if, somewhere along the way, they lost their way?

What if she ended up even more broken than she already was?

* * *

**Omggg. You have no idea how hard that was to write. I've had so little inspiration….but then, I suddenly got enough to write this! But still…it was hard o.O**

**I hope you enjoy it anyways, I really do! I **_**had**_** to update, this chapter was wayyy overdue! But at least I had my besty twinny friendy Jennifer to pull me out of my temporary hiatus with our zilllion hour conversations and mile long emails :D Kudos to simplyjennxD !!! :3  
**

**Please, lovely comments would be greatly appreciated…I'd really like to regain that awesome motivation so I can write this story properly and on time :]**

**Lovveeeeesss! xox**


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